Sanctuary
Burning Ambition
I've Got the Fire
Twilight Zone
Womem in Uniform
Invasion
Total Eclipse
Cross-Eyed Mary
Rainbow's Gold
King of Twilight
Reach Out
Juanita
Sheriff of Huddersfield
That Girl
Black Bart Blues
Massacre
Kill Me Ce Soir
 
Communication Breakdown
I'm a Mover
Space Station No.5
Justice of the Peace
I Live my Way
Judgement Day
Doctor Doctor
My Generation
Virus (short version)
Virus (full version)
Blaze Bayley Interview Part I
Blaze Bayley Interview Part II
Mission from 'Arry
Roll Over Vic Vella
I Can´t See my Feelings
All in your Mind
Nodding Donkey Blues
  Listen with Nicko!, part I
Listen with Nicko!, part II
Listen with Nicko!, part III
Listen with Nicko!, part IV
Listen with Nicko!, part V
Listen with Nicko!, part VI
Listen with Nicko!, part VII
Listen with Nicko!, part VIII
Listen with Nicko!, part IX
Listen with Nicko!, part X

SANCTUARY

(Harris/Di'Anno/Murray) Out of the route came a warhorse of steel. I’ve never killed a woman before, but I know how it feels. I know you’d have gone insane if you saw what I saw. So now I’ve got to look for sanctuary from the law. So give me sanctuary from the law and I’ll be alright. Just give me sanctuary from the law and love me tonight, tonight. I met up with a stranger last night to keep me alive. He spends all his money on gambling and guns to survive. I can laugh at the wind, I can howl at the rain. Down in the Canyon or out in the plain.

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BURNING AMBITION

(Harris) So you think you can own me, well you’d better just think again You’d better watch your steps now, woman, cause I ain’t like those other men There’s something burning inside me that makes me want to be free And when I get these feelings honey, you better keep away from me There’s things in life now, baby, that I know I’ve got to do And I need your love now, baby, to help me see it through So you think you can own me, well you’d better just think again You’d better watch your steps now, woman, cause I ain’t like those other men

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I´VE GOT THE FIRE

(Ronnie Montrose, del album "Paper Money") If you're looking for someone that you can keep then, baby, pass me by And if you wanted something that's twenty years deep Baby, don't even try And if you wanted someone to take your soul I'll lift you up little bit higher I've got the fire I've got the fire So you think I'm skinny, don't you sell me cheap I'm as wide as a country-mile Some like it wide, I like it deep Guess which one is my style So you think you can beat me by my own game Maybe I call you a liar

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TWILIGHT ZONE

(Harris/Murray) She lays in bed at night and that is when I make my call. But when she stares at me, she can’t see nothing at all, Because, you see, I can’t take no shape or form. It’s been three long years since I’ve been gone. I can’t get used to purgatory, you know it really makes me cry. I’ll never know the reason why I had to go. Oh, oh, I’m crying, Oh, oh, oh, deep inside of me. Oh, oh, oh, can’t you see me? Ah can’t you see me? I’m looking forward to her spirit coming over to me. I feel tempted to bring her over to see just what it’s Like to be hanging on the other side. I feel so lonely, it’s a long time since I died. I try to show her that she’s never gonna be alone, Because my spirit is imprisoned in the twilight zone. Oh, oh, I’m crying, Oh, oh, oh, deep inside of me. Oh, oh, oh, can’t you see me? Ah can’t you see me?

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WOMEN IN UNIFORM

(G. Machainsh, grabado por Skyhooks en el album "Guilty Until Proven Insane") Beehive hairdo, 45 on the hip Patrolwoman Saunders, don’t you give her no whip Took me to the station for a breathtest then back to the bedroom for some house-arrest Women in uniform, sometimes they look so cold Women in uniform, but, Oh! They feel so warm Coming back to London on a 747 Stewardess made me feel like I’m in heaven Looking up the aisle to see what I could see She leaned over said; Give it to me White apron, brown leather shoes The nurse at the clinic left my heart all bruised Gave me a massage, sprained my right Now she takes my temperature every night Commando raid on the Lebanese border Sergeant Anita, she gives the order Khaki jacket and a love gun Baby, I surrender, let’s have some fun

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INVASION

(Harris) The Vikings are coming You’d better get ready for we’re having a fight The longboats are coming It’s looking like their? in the dead of the night Muster the men from all the villages You’d better get ready to fight with your enemies Beacons are burning I’m giving the word to get ready to fight The battle is nearing You’d better get ready to fight for your lives The Norsemen are coming The Norsemen are coming The warnings are given The Norsemen are coming Raping and pillaging Robbing and looting the land Viking raiders from afar

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TOTAL ECLIPSE

(Harris/Murray/Burr) Cold as steel the darkness waits, it's hour will come A cry of fear for the chosen worshipping the sun Mother natures black revenge on those who waste her life War babies in the garden of Eden shall turn our ashes to ice CHORUS: Sunrise is gone, freezing up the fires Sunrise is gone, numbing all desires Sunrise is gone, Sunrise is gone Around the world the people stop with terror-stricken eyes A shadow cast upon them all to crush them like a fly In the icy rain and whiplashed seas there's nowhere left to run The hammer blows of winter fall like a hurricane Around the world the nations wait for some wise words from their leading light You know it's not only madmen who listen to fools "Is this the end" the millions cried clutching their riches as they died Those who survive must weather the storm Gone are the days when man looked down They've taken away his sacred crown To be so free, it took so long It's not the journeys end, it's just begun

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CROSS-EYED MARY

(I. Anderson, grabado por Jethro Tull en el album "Aqualung") Who would be a poor man a beggerman, a thief if he had a rich man in his hand Who would steal the candy from a laughing baby's mouth if he could take it from the money man Cross-eyed Mary goes jumping in again She signs no contract but she always plays the game She dines in Hampstead village on expense accounted gruel and the jack knife barber drops her off at school Laughing in the playground gets no kicks from little boys would rather make it with a letching gray Or maybe her attention is drawn by Aqualung who watches through the railings as they play Cross-eyed Mary finds it hard to get along. She's a poor man's rich girl and she'll do it for a song She's a rich man's stealer but her favour's good and strong She's the Robin Hood of Highgate helps the poor man get along

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RAINBOW´S GOLD

(Terry Slesser/Kenny Mountain, grabado por Beckett en el album "Beckett") In the heat of the morning when your day is still dawning And your bird, she's singing Catch your soul, he's willing to fly away Packed your bags in a hurry Because your mind's in a worry Mark my words, you're gonna be sorry if you ever fly away Sweet little girl with the Saint Da Vinci-smile Stares at me with sadness in her eyes I'm not sure if she's really real or make-believe Maybe she's a vision that comes to only me Cause I'm so tired Yes I'm so tired So tired Yes I'm so tired

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KING OF TWILIGHT

(Grabado por Nektar en el album "A tab in the ocean") Crying In the Dark I've been trying, trying so hard I've been crying, crying in the dark Don't forsake me, the time of mine is near Don't ever break me and the world that brought me here Sick and lonely, waiting for you Sick and lonely, wondering what to do Can you hear me, when I say to you You give me your hand, I'll give mine to you King of Twilight When the king of twilight shows me I will take ten steps to see Forty leaves I pay for freedom For a chance to be free For a chance to be free When the king of twilight calls you take a step and you will see We all need a quick solution

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REACH OUT

(Colwell) It's over your head and you don't seem to understand One word I say and you can't live your life Trying to run away You're fighting your friends You're wearing everybody out But it never ends You're wearing me out (chorus) Come on Reach out And let somebody in your life Don't get me wrong You always apologize It's just your way Of making a scene You need to be loved It's not such a crime Over your head You just don't seem to understand One word I say and you can't live your life You got so much love It's burning inside

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JUANITA

(S.Barnacle/D.O'Neil) Yeah it cost me a bundle Trying to track you down It's true Yeah and it's the truth I'm looking from town to town for you You know you never offered much security Do you know I'm gonna get you back? You just wait and see I'm never goin' back Juanita I know you never got my call I'm never goin' back Juanita Never at all Year I'm spending a long time Trying to work it out for true Yeah it's such small crime Thirsting over you Living in a Chelsea flat Seems so lonely now I just know I gotta get you back I just don't know how Yeah I just got to tell you I'm gonna leave it up to you Yeah what more can I say? What more can I do? Living in a Chelsea flat Seems so lonely now I just know I gotta get you back I just don't know how I'm never goin' down on Juanita Never gonna make that call Never goin' down on Juanita Never at all I'm never goin' down on Juanita Never gonna make that call Never goin' down on Juanita Two fingers at all I'm never goin' back Juanita Never goin' down on you Juanita I'm never goin' back Juanita ...

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SHERIFF OF HUDDERSFIELD

(Iron Maiden) Life in a city living in L.A. Is a long way from Huddersfield town The back of the Rainbow's a long way from heaven But that's where he get's his pork pie Limos and ladies they're driving him queasy Rugby and cricket's unknown Baseball and football they're making him lazy Your fan club says "Rodney come home" (chorus) The Sheriff of Huddersfield locked in his castle Look down on Hollywood Hills The Sheriff of Huddersfield locked in his castle You're our own Hot Rod on wheels A good game of arrows a few dozen barrels The Nautilus rusts in the yard But for Yorkshire he's yearning but because he's earning He'll always live in L.A. A custom made wallet that stays in his pocket And never comes out to pay bills He's winning at poker and playing the Joker And he always cheats when he deals (Rodney's rap) Hello, let me introduce meself! My name is Rodney. I'm immensely strong. When I were a lad, I could lift up five navies on an end of a shovel. The reason I never took martial arts because I was immensely fearsome and I'd probably kill everybody I came into contact with it. I was phenomenally strong. Pride and ego, my lads, pride and ego, is what makes the world rotate. And everybody knows the centre of the universe is Huddersfield but I don't live there anymore. I live in Los Angeles. It's great!... I think Rufus the red has a crane by his bed To wrench himself up in the morn' But if you dare to tread at the foot of his bed You'll wish you'd never been born. A bear with a sore head we mean your forehead He slumbers for most of the day Wide eyed and legless baked beans for breakfast Your problem Rodney L.A.

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THAT GIRL

(Andy Barnett/M.Goldsworthy/P.Jupp, grabado por FM en el album "Indiscreet.") The words she said turned out why desperation fills her eyes Hold her in your arms don't let go When you taste defeat, when you loose again Fight and win, never give in Hold her in your arms don't let go That girl you need Gonna knock you off your feet That girl, you know She'll never let you go Can you hear her call, call out your name Think about you, cry without you Hold her in your arm Don't let go Can you taste defeat, when you loose again Fight and win, never give in Hold her in your arms don't let go You need!

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BLACK BART BLUES

(Harris/Dickinson) (spoken into) Bruce 'What the fuck is that?' Nerd 'Hi, guys, are you in a band or something? I mean it would be so cool if you were in a band 'cos you're Driving a big bus with band on the front of it' Bruce 'Why don't you shut up and get on board will ya?' Nerd 'Wow! I have it here you got a stereo and a microwave And, and you got a beer, I'd like a Heineken if you've got one' that's real cool, that's great, yeah!' Bruce 'Would you like to see Black Bart?' Nerd 'Who's Black Bart?' Bruce 'Let me introduce you' Black Bart's seen it Black Bart knows Black Bart's done it The Black Bart blues Suspended in suspension Many evil nights in Tennessee, and elsewhere We all got to try the Black Bart blues Black Bart's truckin' ain't what it seems Black Bart's lookin' Don't know where she's been Maybe she's an acrobat Spends her evenings dancing on a pole We all got to try the Black Bart blues Black Bart tried most anything Black Bart liked it but he couldn't sing So he asked me to tell ya Try it for yourself and you will see We all got to try the Black Bart blues (spoken) Bruce 'What did you do that for?' Nerd 'I'm sorry, I just..., I guess I'm not used to... Bruce 'Shut up and get on with it will you' Black Bart's livin' across the ocean now Black Bart's lookin' to come back somehow So if you are a dancer, You could dance his pole in May That's a maypole Black Bart's coming Now Black Bart's gone Black Bart did it so I wrote this song Whatever and however, In and out or several at a time mmm yes! We all got to do the Black Bart blues Here comes the guitar solo We all got to try the Black Bart blues Yowsa! Yowsa! Yowsa!

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MASSACRE

(Lynott/Gorham/Downey, grabado por Thin Lizzy en el album "Johnny The Fox") At a point below zero There's no place left to go Six hundred unknown heroes Were killed like sleeping buffalo Through the devil's canyon Across the battlefield Death has no companion The spirit is forced to yield There goes the bandolero Through the hole in the wall He's a coward but doesn't care though In fact, he doesn't care at all The general that's commanding He's defending what he fears While the troops they are depending On reinforcements from the rear If God is in the heavens How can this happen here? In His name, they used the weapons For the massacre There is a point below zero Where the sun can see the land Six hundred unknown heroes Lay dead in the sand

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KILL ME CE SOIR

(G.Kooymans/B.Hay/J.Fenton, grabado por Golden Earring, en el album "Continuing Story of Radar Love") Remember that song called kill me From Victim's last LP Too much for a risc for a golden disc The price he paid for money Ce soir, ce soir Assassination d'un Rock & Roll star Ce soir, ce soir Assassination d'un Rock & Roll star Sing your song, you can't go wrong Tempted his business advisor No need for alarm, you'll come to no harm He didn't mention the sniper The news is read, the need is fed One yawn ah, two yawn ah And back to bed Turn off the light, and hold me tight C'mon, maman, bend down your head And just sing on, immortal song Fini, belle vie, bonne nuit Remember that song called kill me A lecture on political chicanary Of peoples rape, recorded on tape Brought shame to the presidency Tonight, tonight One more point for human rights Tonight, tonight One more point for human rights Remeber that song kill me Once used by a man from Gallilea He had nothing to lose, he was King of the Jews Secured his place in history Ce soir, ce soir Assassination d'un provocateur The news is read, the poison's spread One yawn ah, two yawn ah And back to bed Turn off the light, and hold me tight C'mon, maman, bend down your head And just sing on, immortal song Fini, belle vie Vick played his part, with all his heart He wasn't prepared for the shock When howling lead bit into his head A new martyr for the book of rock A new martyr for the book of rock The book of rock A new martyr for the book of rock

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COMMUNICATION BREAKDOWN

(Page, Jones, Plant, Bonham, grabado por Led Zeppelin) Hey, girl, stop what you're doin'! Hey, girl, you'll drive me to ruin. I don't know what it is that I like about you, But I like it a lot. Won't let me hold you, Let me feel your lovin' charms. CHORUS: Communication Breakdown, It's always the same, I'm having a nervous breakdown, Drive me insane! Hey, girl, I got something I think you ought to know. Hey, babe, I wanna tell you that I love you so. I wanna hold you in my arms, yeah! I'm never gonna let you go, 'Cause I like your charms. CHORUS I want you to love me all night... CHORUS I want you to love me all night I want you to love me I want you to love...yeah! I want you to love!

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I´M A MOVER

(Andy Fraser, Paul Rodgers, grabado por Free) I was born by the river, just like this river I've been moving ever since Ain't got nobody to call my own You know I've been moving since the day I was born Life is a game just made for fun You know I don't love nobody, I don't love no one Yes, I'm a mover, baby Following the footsteps; One fine day when I asked the wise man which was the way he said: "Follow your heart and look for yourself and come back and tell me what you have learned" Went back and told him, I found me a wife Eleven children and a real good life Told him of love and there's a happy home But I need to return to that long winding road Yes, I'm a mover, baby Gotta move on down Mmmmove on

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SPACE STATION No.5

(Montrose/Hagar, grabado por Montrose en el album "Montrose") Start, with the sun And move on out The future's in the skies above The heavens unfold And a new star is born Space and time makin' love Chorus: Oh what a time we had Living on the ground I've moved to station #5 See you next time around, Next time around As far you want, as close as you need It's all in the mind, you know This old world hasn't really seen it's day It's here, time to go Remember when it was so clear We were young, but the memory still remains To pick fruit from a tree Fish from the seas Now nothing's left here, but the stains Well I can't cry no more Can only be glad There's other places we can be If the time suits you right I'm leaving tonight Come fly away With me! Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah Oh, yeah Start, with the sun And move on out The future's in the skies above The heavens unfold A new star is born Space and time makin' love

It's getting faster lads! Hurry up! Here comes Metallica in the rear-view mirror! And it's also a (leads) by (electric)... (too fast to understand) At the finish it's prick... It's... And at the finish it's prick followed by the wanker, followed by cunt with arsehole finishing a close fourth.

Nicko: Are we off?
Bruce: Yeah!
Nicko: A-one, two-two, th... Er... three. (acoustic guitar starts)
Bruce (putting on Rod Smallwood's Yorkshire accent):

I don't know what this bloody track's doing there... bloody track. What are these bloody knobs?... What is?... What are you doing here? What about doing all this bloody music? Stop that! Stop that (Nicko)! Bloody hell! I've had this! What about the bloody (degrad)... Pissing about in the bloody studio all the time! I mean I'm bloody sat here working my fingers to the bone, trying to get this bloody album out at the top of the bloody artwork and Steve wants some bloody blobby tatoo on his bloody willie to draw the bloody head in. What the bloody hell do they think I am? I've bloody got to walk into the bloody EMI, Capitol, and the biggest bloody record companies in the bloody world and say "Look here's a bloody picture of a bloody Eddie with a bloke and his fucking dick"! What the bloody hell do you all think they're gonna make of that?

Why can't they write songs about proper things like cricket? Aaargh, God! Boycott! There we go, man! There, man! They're writing bloody stupid songs these day, you know what I mean? Gremlins Two the bloody great film, you know. If I'd wanted the band to be bloody in it well they'd be bloody in it and all this, you know, bloody stupid. Bloody blood everywhere, it's brilliant! Bloody hell, where's the bloody cricket? I know it's christmas! It shouldn't make any fucking difference should it, they should be putting cricket on. Speaking of christmas, I invited some bastard round at christmas. He ain't paid me for the bloody turkey yet. What did he have? Two-thirds of a breast and half a thigh. That'll be five pounds sixty-three pence. What a cunt, there's some bloody arseholes around these days. You never know they stab you in the back as soon as look at you.

Nicko! Nicko! Nicko stop wearing that bloody jacket in those photo sessions. You look bloody pregnant, man. Oooh, don't give me that stupid look . How many bloody chins have you got? Never mind how many chins I've got. How many bloody chins have you got? Couldn't you dress appropriately on a golf course, Nicko. Nooo! You don't wear... You wouldn't come onto a bloody golf course or a bloody drumkit wearing a bloody... a bloody silk bloody satin bloody whatever the bloody hell it is, would you? Well, I don't care if you're a pop star, you're a bloody... you're on a bloody golf course now. You're bloody embarrassing me. You're embarrassing me. You come with a bloody jacket and tie next time, I tell you.

Now, shut up 'cos I'm going to address... no, I'm not gonna bloody address the envelope, I'm gonna address the ball. Right, I'm adjusting the ball. I'm standing here right now, ok. (mumbles something unintelligible) Where's the bloody ball? Right here, right. See now... Fault! Fault! Get out of the bloody way, you stupid...! Get out of the way, you stupid arseholes! Get out! I'm bloody going to play the f... I'm bloody going to play the ball! Fucking f... I'll hit them on the bloody head never mind. Right. Here we go, right. Whooooo... Bastard! Bollocks off! Fucking hell! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! It's all you bloody fault. It's all you bloody fault. It's all... I can pick it up, can't I? Why not?! What is it? What? What's up with the fucking rules? What bloody rules? These stupid bloody rules. Well how should I... Where is it? In the water!? What am I suppos... Look! Well you'll have to get it. It's your bloody fault. You bloody get it! Yes, now! I'm not... I don't care if it's not part of your job description. Record producer? Wha... Well you'll never bloody work again. Get in that bloody water now or you'll never bloody work again. Bloody nerve! Record producer! You know who I am? What do you mean you've never heard of me? You must have seen me number plate, it's on me Range Rover. Where do I live? Well how should I know if there's any mountains in Bayswater? I only go out to get the Sunday papers! Anyway they're bloody late, aren't they?

You know, I mean... I mean what good is the bloody music without the... see, what good is the bloody music without the sleeve I ask him. No! No! No! Nobody's bothered about the music Steve. Only you and the fans. I mean... I mean if it wasn't for the bloody fans I wouldn't be here! You understand? You know, I mean I'm only bloody... I'm not doing this for fun! You know, I mean... Steve... No, no, no. Steve... No, no, no. No need to talk to me like that Steve. Now look... Now look, I'm only arguing with you for fun, Steve. No, of course I don't mean it. I just want to give you the you know... drive you to an early grave, you know.

But, er... Nick... Oh, oh... Nicko! Nicko! Nicko, not behind that bush. Nooo! It's Win... It's Windsor bloody golf course, the bloody queen plays here. If she fucking played golf she'd play here! Oh for Christ's... What if bloody lord what's his name walked here. Ooooh.....

You what? "Fear Of The Dark"? You want to call it "Fear Of The Dark"? (sighs) Hold on, I'll see what the bloke at the bloody off-license thinks about it. Like, listen. I've spoken to the bloke at the bloody off-license and I've spoken to the minicab driver, and he thinks it should be called "Blood Sweat'n'Beer", nothing like a bloody good Yorshire title, like. Look, you get on with the bloody music and we'll deal with important stuff like, you know, the marketing and the design and the sleeve and the photograph, anything goes to me. I've got a lot better title. What about "L.A.'s From Here To Eternity" or "Bayswater Ain't A Bad Place To Be". Well I know Bayswater isn't rock'n'roll, Steve, but neither was Monterey until bloody Hendrix went there. The Isle of Wight was never bloody rock'n'roll until the bloody Beatles went there. Oh I know the Beatles never went there, but it's only a bloody detail. Don't be so fucking pedantic. Oh, bloody hell! What? This bloody song? This bloody song... what about calling it... what about calling it "Fear Of The Golf"? "Fear Of The Golf" No, not the Gulf! You don't want to depress everybody. What's that got to do with... You've already got a song about the Gulf War. "Afraid To Shoot Strangers", this is about the Gulf War. Well the Gulf War's over, Steve! It's already happened and it's not news anymore. Couldn't you change it, one letter and make it about golf. Golf's happening all the time! It happens every bloody year. The Gulf War never happens every bloody year, does it? I mean they'll have forgotten about it in five years' time. You're not singing about the bloody Second World War now. But nobody's singing songs about golf. You'll go to the bloody market, I'm telling you! You will! You will!

What is this bloody bit of graffitti on the bog wall? "I'm not afraid to shoot managers"! Who put it there? Who put it there, hands up! Who put it there? Who did? Merck? Mark put it there? He bloody works for me. He never told me he could read or write! I'll have to bloody watch my back now. There's a bloody conspiracy theory going on. Bloody hell!

Who wants to talk to me? Who? Who's on the phone? An artist? Bloody namby pamby, tell him to fuck off I'm watching the bloody golf. Oh, somebody still owes me for half the cost of that bloody turkey when he came 'round for christmas dinner. Bloody nerve! Mind you! Mind you, you do have to look up. You know, I mean the lads, they not so bad. I know they don't mean everything they say because... because ultimately I'm always right. And in the end it's always my ideas that do get chosen even though I didn't think of them. Well, not quite. I mean I like to think of meself as being a... a creative Geoffrey Boycott. You know, like the bloke who stood there for hours and hours until the crowd went still, and then he was still shown on the telly after they were all dead. Oh, yes! The legend will live on! And they bloody know me down the Indian, you know. I'm a bloody superhuman cricket man, boycotting existential golfing machine! I can't dig the Blues, but I can dig a bloody (unintelligible), I can bloody tell you! I'm a massless millionaire, a bloody vulcanised superviking. I'm Frederick Roderick Smallwood, with my own bloody number plate. I'll bloody tell them. I tell you I'm bloody glad I came back here from L.A.

...England bloody needs me.

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JUSTICE OF THE PEACE

(Harris/Murray) Have you heard on the news Another let off madman Another screw on the loose Is it the judge or the badman What's the matter these days No one has the courage to put them away Nobody has any faith 'Cause there's a breakdown of justice and order CHORUS: Waiting for justice, waiting for justice of the peace Waiting for justice, waiting for justice of the peace When I remember back the memories of yesteryear (they really say 'yesterday') With all the friends and all the times When people were carefree And walking down the street When everyone knew everyone And all the houses doors were open No had to care those days are gone Those days are gone CHORUS I long for the times when you could Wander down the street unharmed When people didn't have much money But didn't seem to care It must be the cynic in me But I don't really like things now The violence, the attitudes Aggression that you see everyday A sick society looks the other way.

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I LIVE MY WAY

(Harris/Gers/Bayley) Sometimes when I feel the anger Sometimes when I'm all alone Sometimes when I feel surrounded Like all the doors are closed I feel like I've been a prisoner I feel like I've been a tool Let people try to judge me When they're not in my shoes CHORUS: I've lived on my knees Trying to please It's time to change Some people are only happy When they can watch you fail And to them every day is Another coffin nail I think that I've found the answer I think that at last I know We've only got one lifetime I'll make my life my own CHORUS To live my own way I live my way Living for today Don't care what they say

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JUDGEMENT DAY

(Harris/Gers/Murray/Bayley) There are no marks upon a man That can say he's good or bad No label and no tell tale sign That can show he's full of lies CHORUS: By your deeds you will be known Time will tell truth will show As we exhale every breath We all got closer to our death What will you say What will you say On judgement day On judgement day When you look into their eyes You don't know what they hide No label and no tell tale sign That can show he's full of lies CHORUS Ignorance is bliss is that the reason We can not read another's mind If we knew what thoughts were dancing Through each others heads Would we all be driven mad Would we all be dead CHORUS

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DOCTOR DOCTOR

(Schenker/Mogg) Doctor doctor, please Oh, the mess I'm in Doctor doctor, please oh, the mess I'm in She walked up to me and really stole my heart And then she started to take my body apart Livin' lovin' I'm on the run So far away from you Livin' lovin' I'm on the run So far away from you Doctor doctor, please Oh I'm goin' fast Doctor doctor, please, oh, I'm goin' fast It's only just a moment She's turning paranoid That's not a situation for a nervous boy Doctor doctor, please Oh, the mess I'm in Doctor doctor, please oh, the mess I'm in But you look so angry as I crawled across your floor She's got the strength, and I can't take any more Livin' lovin' I'm on the run So far away from you Livin' lovin' I'm on the run So far away from you Doctor doctor, please Oh, the mess I'm in Doctor doctor, please oh, the mess I'm in But you look so angry as I crawled across your floor She's got the strength, and I can't take any more

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MY GENERATION

(Townshend) People try to put us down Talkin' 'bout my generation just because we get around. Talkin' 'bout my generation Things they do look awful cold. Talkin' 'bout my generation I hope I die before I get old. Talkin' 'bout my generation This is my generation, this is my generation, baby. Why don't you all fade away? Talkin' 'bout my generation Yeah, don't try and dig what we all say. Talkin' 'bout my generation I'm not tryin' to cause a big sensation, Talkin' 'bout my generation I'm just talkin' 'bout my generation. Talkin' 'bout my generation It's my generation, it's my generation, baby. Why don't you all fade away? Talkin' 'bout my generation Yeah, don't try d-dig what we all say. Talkin' 'bout my generation Not tryin' to cause a big sensation, Talkin' 'bout my generation Just talkin' 'bout my generation. Talkin' 'bout my generation Yeah, my generation, this is my generation, baby, generation, generation. People try to put us down Talkin' 'bout my generation just because we get around. Talkin' 'bout my generation Things they do look awful cold. Talkin' 'bout my generation I hope I die before I get old. Talkin' 'bout my generation It's my generation, this is my generation, baby, ma-ma-my generation. Talkin' 'bout my generation Talkin' about Talkin' 'bout my generation my generation, Talkin' 'bout my generation my generation, Talkin' 'bout my generation my generation, Talkin' 'bout my generation yes, my generation, baby Talkin' 'bout my generation yes, my generation, Talkin' 'bout my generation yes, my generation, Talkin' 'bout my generation yes, my generation, Talkin' 'bout my generation it's my generation.

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VIRUS (short version)

(Harris/Gers/Murray/Bayley) When every good thing's laid to waste by all the jealousy and hate By all the acid wit and rapier lies And every time you think you're safe, and when you go to turn away You know they're sharpening all their paper knives All in your mind, all in your head, try to relate it All in your mind, all in your head, try to escape it Without a conscience they destroy, and that's a thing that they enjoy They're a sickness that's in all our minds They want to sink the ship and leave, the way they laugh at you and me You know it happens all the time All in your mind, all in your head, try to relate it All in your mind, all in your head, try to escape it The rats in the cellar, you know who you are The rats in the cellar, you know who you are The rats in the cellar, you know who you are The rats in the cellar, you know who you are Or do you? Or do you? Or do you? Or do you? Watching beginnings of social decay...

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VIRUS (full version)

(Harris/Gers/Murray/Bayley) There's an evil virus that's threatening mankind Not state of the art, a serious state of the mind The muggers, the backstabbers, the two faced elite A menace to society, a social disease Rape of the mind is a social disorder The cynics, the apathy one-upmanship order Watching beginnings of social decay Gloating or sneering at life's disarray Eating away at your own self esteem Pouncing on every word that you might be saying Rape of the mind is a social disorder The cynics, the apathy one-upmanship order Superficially smiling a shake of the hand As soon as the back is turned treachery is planned Rape of the mind is a social disorder The cynics, the apathy one-upmanship order Watching beginnings of social decay Gloating or sneering... at life's disarray When every good thing's laid to waste by all the jealousy and hate By all the acid wit and rapier lies And every time you think you're safe, and when you go to turn away You know they're sharpening all their paper knives All in your mind, all in your head, try to relate it All in your mind, all in your head, try to escape it Without a conscience they destroy, and that's a thing that they enjoy They're a sickness that's in all our minds They want to sink the ship and leave, the way they laugh at you and me You know it happens all the time All in your mind, all in your head, try to relate it All in your mind, all in your head, try to escape it The rats in the cellar, you know who you are The rats in the cellar, you know who you are The rats in the cellar, you know who you are The rats in the cellar, you know who you are Or do you? Or do you? Or do you? Or do you? Watching beginnings of social decay...

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BLAZE BAYLEY INTERVIEW Part I

Keith Wilfort:

How did you feel when you finally learned that you'd got the job in Maiden?

Blaze:

Relieved... more than anything

Keith Wilfort:

Cause there was a bit for awhile where it was, you know...

Blaze:

Well I had to audition just the same as everybody else, so I was probably.... I just thought... I didn't think really... I thought I had a chance as much as anybody else cause I'm quite a determined person, but I thought "well I'll never get it", you know, cause it's such a dream job, you know, it's something that you think... So I was just relieved more than anything, all the anxiety and worrying thinking "Will I get it? Won't I get it? .... " you know, so it was like "Are you sure? Are you sure?" you know, just to make sure... "It's me? Yeah, you've phoned the right person? Are you sure?" And I just spent about three days getting completely drunk... and staying drunk. So, it was good. It was a relief more than anything and then after awhile I felt really good about it.

Keith Wilfort:

Did you have to sing a lot of songs or was it sort of...?

Blaze:

Umm... I think we got to... It didn't seem like a lot, I remember the audition, it didn't seem like a lot of songs, but in fact I think it was about nine different numbers. And it was quite a cross section of Maiden material with stuff like Hallowed and Number Of The Beast and Clairvoyant and Fear Of The Dark... So it was all quite different stuff that both Paul and Bruce had done. And, I just remember being at the audition and thinking "well, even if I don't get it, at least I got the chance to sing with Maiden", and sing, you know... and so I thought "I've got this far, I don't really care now, I'll just go for it and enjoy the fact that I'm actually singing with Iron Maiden." So it was good from that point of view... it was really good, and we got to the end of it and we were all looking at each other going "Isn't there any more? Is that it?" Cause it just seemed to go like that, you know, it seemed to be a real vibe in the room... something was certainly clicking.

Keith Wilfort:

So, when it came to actually settling in with the band, did it take a while to adjust to it or was it a case of sort of like "We're in there, this is it!"... the vibes, you know?

Blaze:

I think it was... there was a little bit of a limbo period until we actually started working together, because even though I was in the band, we hadn't done anything together, there were no shows planned and the first thing we were gonna do was start writing this record. And I think I was quite nervous at the time. But as soon as I got together with Janick, you know, the ideas... I was thinking, "will this work with Maiden?", you know, and stuff like that... the ideas that I'd got, but it just slotted straight in. And when I started working with Steve it was great as well, cause he started... the way, the style that he writes and the way he constructs his melodies and his songs, he uses a part of my voice that I would never usually use, but it's a part I'm always looking for. So it's quite fulfilling in that respect, because even though I'd spent nine years in Wolfsbane, my previous band, and we'd made five albums, there was certainly something as we'd gone on that I was trying to find more character, and something more individual about my voice that maybe I'd just touched on sometimes. But when we started working together in Maiden, writing the songs and as the arrangements started coming together, it really felt that something was coming out of me, I was pushing myself a lot further, and it was very very satisfying.

Keith Wilfort:

Did it take a lot of rehearsing before you actually started recording?

Blaze:

Oh, weirdest thing I've ever done, because we'd got the songs together and it seemed like Steve and Janick... and they would go "Yeah, we'll do this... Ok yeah that's ready." I said, "Well we've only recorded it on the dictaphone, aren't we gonna do any demos? "Oh no no, we're not doing any demos, we'll just go in, you know, we'll get everybody else to learn the arrangements and we'll just record it." And so we were in the studio, we'd rehearsed up the the first song, "ok yeah, a bit of drum in there... whatcha think goes there... la-de-da-de-da..." And I don't think we'd even got through it once without messing it up. And they all just said "Ok, shall we go for a take then?" And I said, "Don't you think we should get through to the end without stopping?" You know, "Oh no! Just get the tape rolling!" So we all went off and got the tape, and so like everybody's on edge.... but I don't know, in a way I think when you do do demos, alot of the time you can lose the excitement of the song. And I think because the first time that we'd get it right and it really worked, that was the take that we were gonna use, there was certainly a little bit of electricity there, certainly, so it worked really well. I mean, sometimes we'd get it right and it just wouldn't feel... you would think, "well what's that all about?" It's all played perfectly but just lacks that little bit of energy or certain something. And then other times, yeah, it really clicked. So it was good from that point of view.

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BLAZE BAYLEY INTERVIEW Part II

Keith Wilfort:

The album was co-produced by Steve with Nigel Green, I mean Nigel's record speaks for itself, but what's Steve like to work for as a producer? Is he sort of a whip cracker, or does he sort of just let everyone get on with it then?

Blaze:

He's good and bad, it's like a tragic comic love affair when Steve is producing and you're doing your part, because he will encourage you and he'll go "oh that sounded good, that sounded good". But he will also, when he feels like it, or if he thinks the performance is there to (unintelligible), he'll make you do the same thing so many times until you've forgot what it's about, you know. But in essence I'd say as a producer he's really good because he never forgets what the song is about. He never looks at things from a purely technical thing and he always makes you feel like the musician is more important than the equipment, which I think when you're in the studio its very easy for the technocrats to take over and say "oh yeah we've got this computer doing that, we can use these effects..." and forget that in essence what music is about, and especially the style of music that Maiden do, what that is about is actually reaching to people, it's speaking to people, you know, and that's why I think the band... it's a live band because that's the ultimate place for that, you know, when you're onstage or in a gig, then I think the vibe with Maiden is not "we are the band, you are the fans." I think it's more like "we're all here together to get the most out of tonight and really enjoy ourselves." So from that point of view I think that Steve doesn't forget that when he's in the studio. I really like working like that because I always imagine when I'm singing I always try to think what's it going to be like live, you know, when we're onstage what's it going to be like? And I'm really looking forward to doing Sign Of The Cross and some of the other ones live.

Keith Wilfort:

The new artwork is a radical departure from what was done in the past, was that a conscious decision when the artwork was being thought of or did it sort of move that way?

Blaze:

Well it was I think a conscious decision in one way. Certainly not long after I joined the band and I was talking to Steve about what I thought about the artwork, I think we certainly thought along the same lines there, that there's no way you could really kill Eddie, I mean after all he's the undead, so you're not going to be able to kill him off. And really, I really like Eddie and I like what he stands for and the kind of... you know, the antagonistic dark side, what he represents. So you can't really lose Eddie, but as well, Eddie has to do something, he has to come from somewhere else. This is a new lineup and it's going to be hopefully a new beginning for Maiden. So I think that was in our minds, and then the guy... they'd had a couple of things sent in that Steve had looked at and wasn't particularly impressed with, and then he phoned up the guy who finished (unintelligible) the artwork, and when he said "we want you to come up with some ideas for the next Maiden album" he said "I've been waiting for this phone call for five years." So I thought well it's gonna be good if he's been into the band and waiting to do it so and it's come out really well. I think it's going to be quite controversial but I don't think in all the time I've been following Maiden I don't think they've ever shied away from controversy or confronting people.

Keith Wilfort:

Finally, touring. After spending months recording you must be looking forward to getting out on the road... like.... stageshow-wise or presentation-wise, how are you going to be different, how's it going to be different from previous shows and.... I know you like to experiment with your monitors and stuff like that, so is there anything that you've sort of like thought about that you're gonna do...?

Blaze:

Yeah, what we're doing is... we're certainly going to.... we're changing the monitor system onstage is one of the first things we'll do, so when we're playing small... we've got a monitor system that takes up less of the room on the stage and also the P.A., just as powerful I think it's a bit louder, the P.A. that we're gonna use but it's gonna be a bit smaller so in fact more people will be able to see us and we'll have a bit more room onstage. And also I think Maiden, the last couple of tours... like with No Prayer and stuff, they've stripped down the set, stripped it right down to backdrops and things like that, and I think there's certainly a feeling in the band now that we want to come out with a show and really say "Yeah we're here" and give people something to look at and a memorable evening with Iron Maiden, certainly. So I think it's gonna be very enthusiastic performances on the tour, and we can't wait to get out there really because we take so long making the album and doing the promotion and everything that by the time we do get out it's just going to be insane. It's just going to be like one of those fairy story dragons lying asleep in the cave, waking up incredibly hungry and breathing fire. We're about to go and trash the local town and eat all the virgins. So that's what it feels like at the moment... when we get out there I'm sure it's going to be insane.

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MISSION FROM 'ARRY

(Harris, McBrain)
...anyways, he did not deserve to get a bollocking... ...at the time, I know why he got a bollocking, because you, you know, you dunno what the fuck he's goin' on about, but he didn't really deserve it. All he's trying to do is relay a message from me to you, right? And he went the wrong way about it, okay.
Nicko:

Yeah, he did go the wrong way about it.

Steve:

Well then.

Nicko:

Well I'm, I, I, I, I tell you what, I mean it ain't gonna happen again.

Bruce:

I don't see where you get steamed, I mean, if the truss was gonna...

Nicko:

Why I got steamed up Bruce is because he fucked me right up. And I knew there was a problem, I still didn't know what it was even after he...I, I fucked! I fucking fucked up!

Steve:

I know that. Look, it's like...

Nicko:

...and I stopped, and it was like "oh, for fuck's sake!" Come on kids, and I'm looking around... what is he trying to tell me? What's the problem?

Steve:

Can't you understand? Can't you understand if I'm trying to get a fucking message through to ya, right?...I'd have still...it'd a been a lot worse. If I, if I had to go me gear done...as it happens, (snaps his fingers) just in the nick of the time I got it done. If I...

Nicko:

Yeah, I still didn't get the message.

Steve:

I know you didn't. But what we're saying, it didn't... whatever happens if I got him trying to get a fuckin' message to ya. Y'know what I mean?

Nicko:

Sure Steve, but the fact is that the guy was not handling it the right way.

Steve:

You don't think of things like that Nick.

Nicko:

But that's diff... look...

Steve:

I bollocked...I was shouting at ya, "look, my gear's gone down".

Nicko:

It's me that fucked-up.

Steve:

Listen...

Nicko:

I'm the one out there all on me own...

Steve:

I know.

Nicko:

...I'm doing a drum solo. And I've got fuckin' talkin' to...

Steve:

No I'm the one, I'm only one 'a thinking, I've got fucking like a minute to go before m..., to get this fucking gear right.

Bruce:

Yeah, but if somebody gives a message to me...

Steve:

No?

Bruce:

...I mean, it doesn't matter who it is, I mean, the message gets through.

Nicko:

Bruce, it's different...

Steve:

It's a different situation.

Nicko:

...it's different for you. You're not standing there all on your fucking own having a somebody try to get your attention and talk to you. I'm playin' a drum solo, and the guy's standing a yard, or two yards behind my drum riser goin'...

Steve:

Yeah, all I'm trying a...

Nicko:

..."fucking anga-yangna-baba"..."wha?"..."BABA-BABA-BABA!"..."WHAAAA???..." the fuck! Uhhhhh! By the time I've got that far, I'm fuckin totally fucked. Because I'm p..., I'm not paying attention to my gig...

Steve:

Hey, look...

Nicko:

...I'm paying attention to what he's trying to tell me.

Bruce:

Yeah, but nobody woulda noticed.

Steve:

I complete...

Nicko:

I noticed!

Steve:

I completely understand that.

Nicko:

Fucked me right up.

Steve:

But he, he was only doing what I told him to do, and that was get a message to you. Now that the fucking heat of the moment and just, everything on hand... he don't think to fucking tell Bill, he wants to get the message to you, not to fucking Bill, so he don't think of that, he just tries to get the message to you, right? So, he don't fucking deserve to get a bollocking for that, I mean, alright he got one I know... not sayin that. But I just don't, you know...

Bruce:

Attente! Attente!

Steve:

...Bob was a nice guy. He's not like he's, fuckin', he's an asshole...

Nicko:

No, no...

Steve:

...or an idiot, or anything like that.

Nicko:

Oh no, but he was out of order, because he didn'...

Bruce:

He wasn't out of order.

Nicko:

He was.

Steve:

He wasn't out of order. He was wrong.

Nicko:

He was, 'cause he fucked me up by tryin to tell me...

Steve:

Nicko.

Nicko:

If he'd of come up to the riser...

Steve:

Nicko.

Nicko:

Look...

Steve:

Nicko.

Nicko:

...if he'd of come up to the riser there, I COULDA FUCKIN HEARD HIM!!!

Steve:

But Nick...

Nicko:

Cunt was standin' behind, I was sittin' down.

Steve:

Yeah...

Nicko:

..."bada-bada-ba"

Steve:

He was wrong. He made a mistake, but he wasn't out of order.

Bruce:

It wasn't deliberate.

Steve:

He made a mistake...

Nicko:

Now, I know it ain't deliberate.

Steve:

...for fuck's sake.

Nicko:

I didn't know that at the time, right? I still didn't know that Steve had a problem with his bass...

Steve:

That's what I'm saying.

Nicko:

...luckily enough, by the time I finished the poxy solo, he had his bass working again.

Steve:

It was all that fucking grief...

Bruce:

All it takes is the guy...

Nicko:

The grief was, because I bollocked him up, and I happened to tell ya, and you go "don't bollock him, go out and apologize," right. Fuck him, I'm gonna go and apologize to him.

Bruce:

Well all you gotta do...

Nicko:

It's not for me to apologise. I bollocked him 'cause he fucked me up. Right there, he fucked me up. He was wrong.

Bruce:

All you gotta do...no he wasn't wrong.

Nicko:

He was.

Steve:

He wasn't wrong.

Nicko:

He did not handle it... he's not even fucking communicating, right?

Steve:

Aw! I don' wanna fuckin argue about this, it's fucking stupid... I think you're really out of order, I think...honestly.

Nicko:

No bollocks! Oh I am not out of order.

Steve:

You are. You're attitude is out of order.

Nicko:

He... no it ain't.

Steve:

It is.

Nicko:

No it ain't. The guy fucked me up.

Steve:

I know he did...

Nicko:

Well then that's out of order...

Steve:

...he didn't mean to.

Nicko:

LOOK, I'M NOT SAYIN HE FUCKIN' MEANT TO 'ARRY!!! The fact is that he was a dumbkopf, 'cause he don't know how to fuckin communicate with me onstage...

Bruce:

But he's not a dumbkopf.

Nicko:

Aww!

Steve:

He's not fuckin' stupid.

Nicko:

Well, he fuckin' certainly did a good job out there this afternoon, didn't he?

Steve:

He made a mistake, because I...

Nicko:

What do you mean "He made a mistake"?

Steve:

Because I...

Nicko:

You sent him. How could he make a mistake?

Steve:

That's right.

Nicko:

How did he make a mistake?

Steve:

Well, he made the mistake by not sending Bill first, right?

Nicko:

Well, well he made a mistake, right?

Steve:

Yeah.

Nicko:

Well, why?...

Bruce:

There's a difference between making a mistake...

Steve:

Well that's what I'm saying.

Bruce:

...and a difference between making a human error...

Nicko:

Right, so he made a mistake, right?

Steve:

Yeah!

Nicko:

And I'm griefed up cause he fuckin' made me make a mistake. Now that he... now I can understand what he was talking about after the fact... it remains to be seen, he was on a mission from you.

Steve:

Aw, I'm not gonna argue about it.

Nicko:

Right? Fuck my old boots, it just... I can't hack... I can't handle that situation when people think some can't make me grief, and it's important to me to get a message like that... fucking hell! How can I get some... get, get... when I also fucked as well... I would'na minded if I'd have gotten what it was happening straight. Like, on the end "alright, 'Arris got his bass fucked, right I'll carry on and do something else", then that's fine, if I didn't fuck-up... but he made me fuck. It totally threw me right out, and he wasn't...

Steve:

I know it did.

Nicko:

...He didn't know how to talk to me about it. And, and I've, I've told him "don't do that again."

Steve:

Because, see, it's not, it's not, it's not fair relaying a message to people. He was just...

Nicko:

And he never turned 'round.

Steve:

...look, it coulda been anybody. It was just that he was the first one on hand.

Nicko:

'Arry.

Steve:

He was just standing there.

Nicko:

He never turned around, he never even turned around afterwards and said "Listen, did you?...I'm sorry, but you didn't understand what I was saying right?"

Steve:

Well why should he?

Nicko:

Well then, then, then because...

Steve:

He got a fuckin' bollocking.

Nicko:

...He woulda stood up for himself because he knows he was gotten a bollocking wrong, because he was on a mission from you.

Steve:

He was probably...

Bruce:

No.

Steve:

He was probably fuckin upset...

Bruce:

He's probably a bit upset.

Steve:

...because you gave him a fucking bollocking.

Nicko:

Well, rightly.

Steve:

You gave him up for...as far as he's con...

Bruce:

No, not rightly.

Nicko:

Rightly, yeah.

Steve:

But no, it's not rightly.

Bruce:

No!

Nicko:

I told him "DON'T EVER DO THAT AGAIN!"

Steve:

No.

Bruce:

That's crazy.

Steve:

But what?...

Bruce:

What happens if the lighting truss is gonna fall down on your head? Does he go?...

Nicko:

Well then somebody drags me out of the fuckin' way, or else I'm dead, right?

Bruce:

Yeah, but don't... I mean... you know.

Steve:

I think your attitude is totally fucking out of order.

Nicko:

No it ain't. No it ain't.

Steve:

Yes it is.

Nicko:

No it ain't. If I'd have known... now I'm the fuckin' cunt all of a sudden.

Steve:

No, you're not the cunt.

Bruce:

You're not a cunt.

Nicko:

Because I told him he was out of order, and I didn't know he was on a mission from you to tell me that his bass, your bass was FUCKED!

Steve:

I know you didn't.

Bruce:

All you've got to do Nicko, is just go to the guy and say...

Steve:

You didn't know, and he didn't know, alright?

Bruce:

"Sorry about, sorry about shouting. It was a misunderstanding. But in future, tell Bill" that's all you gotta say.

Nicko:

No. No.

Bruce:

And that way, he's a fuckin' proud geezer...

Steve:

What's, what's the matter with ya?

Bruce:

He goes...

Nicko:

Look...

Steve:

'Cause if this is some sorta pride thing or what?

Nicko:

I bollocked him... no it ain't pride. It's, it's not fuckin' pride.

Steve:

Well what's the matter with ya?

Bruce:

It is pride.

Nicko:

Oh bollocks!

Steve:

What's the matter with ya?

Nicko:

The guy was wrong to have been fuckin' there to do what he done.

Steve:

I know. All I'm, all I'm gonna say is that when you're going up tomorrow...

Bruce:

No it isn't wrong. What's he supposed to do? Turn around...

Steve:

...this is a different attitude, 'cause this is fucking stupid.

Nicko:

I told him straight out not to do it again.

Bruce:

What's he supposed to do? What's he?...

Nicko:

I'm not gonna go out and apologize for saying that to him...

Bruce:

He's NOT!

Nicko:

...He was outta fuckin' order.

Bruce:

He's not out of order.

Bruce:

what happens...

Nicko:

Bruce.

Bruce:

...if I fucking go and tell somebody to do something, he goes "No, fuck off! I'm not gonna do that."

Nicko:

Listen, Bruce...

Bruce:

Then he's out of order.

Nicko:

Bruce...

Bruce:

But he goes and tells him to go and do something...

Nicko:

...I'm not concerned with, with, with, with, with other people that can't fucking talk to me on stage, who don't know how to fucking communicate with me...

Bruce:

But he's not out of order trying to do it.

Nicko:

...He did not know how to communicate with me.

Steve:

Some cunt's recording this!

Volver


ROLL OVER VIC VELLA

(Berry) (Probablemente el diálogo sea entre Vic y Steve)
Vic:

...well.

Steve:

Oh yeah?

Vic:

Went down ten feet, got a JCB from the road 'cause my other one wouldn't reach. Dug it out... after ten or fifteen minutes he went back to the hole to check the height... full of water! Must have come from the river, eh?

Steve:

Dunno...someone must have pissed in it.

Vic:

Say well, fucking big piss... somebody did.

Someone:

Something you were doing down the <unintelligible>

Vic:

Trying to feed it through the ground, it's like a well. About three feet deep So I....that's right, fucking John shit himself. There was soil, it's like quicksand.... he went down there to spread the fucking soil, and he's sinking in, isn't he. He suddenly reached for the fucking fork lift and I lifted up he couldn't reach it... he was shitting himself. He was just going by the <unintelligible> at the end of the boots. He said "I'm fucking going, I'm going! Just lower the fucking forklift quick!" And he grabbed hold of it, so I had to lift it up with him hanging on the end of it. Good job he didn't let go otherwise <splat-sound> right in the fucking mud!

Gonna write a little letter, gonna mail it to my local MP
He's a Maltese man and he's mowing the lawn my way
Roll over Vic Vella, give me more bales of hay

Roll over Vic Vella, Roll over Vic Vella
Roll over Vic Vella, Roll over Vic Vella
Roll over Vic Vella, don't you mow that lawn my way

Early in the morning i'm giving you a warning
Don't you step on my tractor blades
Hey <unintelligible> devil he's on the fiddle
and he ain't got nothing to lose
Roll over Vic Vella, tell the tax man the bad news

Roll over Vic Vella, Roll over Vic Vella
Roll over Vic Vella, Roll over Vic Vella
Roll over Vic Vella, don't you tell the tax man the news

You want to buy a truck and need a new VCR
Vic he gonna say he knows where they are
Roll over Vic Vella, I see that panda-car

Roll over Vic Vella, Roll over Vic Vella
Roll over Vic Vella, Roll over Vic Vella
Roll over Vic Vella, don't you play those games with me

Roll over Vic Vella, Roll over Vic Vella
Roll over Vic Vella, Roll over Vic Vella
Roll over Vic Vella, don't you play those games with me

Roll over Vic Vella, Roll over Vic Vella
Roll over Vic Vella, Roll over Vic Vella
Roll over Vic Vella, don't you play that game with me

Volver


I CAN'T SEE MY FEELINGS

(Sheeley, Bourge) I can't see my feelings, Open my eyes I can't see my feelings, Up in the pale moonlight I can't see my feelings, Keeping me high I just keep on reeling, Honey please tell me why I can't stand there dreaming, All of the time Music sends a feeling Up in the pale moonlight

Volver


ALL IN YOUR MIND

(Bromham) Look inside your head and find, And tell me now that it's all in your mind Look inside your head and find A way deep inside and it's all in your mind It's all in your mind, it's all in your mind Revolution, air pollution, Chairman Mao Tse Tung is in your mind (but he's dead now... he's not very well anyway!) New day breaking, people hating, Love supreme but it's all in your mind It's all in your mind, it's all in your mind Segregation, preservation, Politicians all are in your mind Pewter Suta, kama sutra, Even Blankenheimer is in your mind It's all in your mind, it's all in your mind

Volver


NODDING DONKEY BLUES

(Dickinson, Harris, Murray, McBrain, Gers) Settle down She's got legs... like an airship, She's got an ass.... like (unintelligible) She's got tits... just like hot air balloons... and I mean the Hindenburg! She's the biggest girl, I'm gonna get there soon Yeah you know what I mean She's got love when you want it, but she never lets go when you get it You disappear inside, you're never seen again... lost forever! She's the biggest girl, I'm gonna get there soon Alright, here we go... Should be some kind of guitar solo here... (Piano solo) Well I met her in a bar, she was propping up the wall I don't think she was available, she was made of concrete (unintelligible) I met her in a bar, she was propping up the wall In fact she was nailed to it I gotta admit, (unintelligible) babe... lets get down to it baby She had a brain like a sheep-dip, She got love like a cesspit on her mind She was a big girl, she was big. I mean she was big, she was fucking huge! Enormous! Needed a sign overhead (unintelligible) Never even had landing permission! One more! Oh we sailed across the ocean you and me I looked like a flea on the back of a sperm whale Oh yeah, I was waving a match inside the Albert Hall

Volver


LISTEN WITH NICKO!, part I

(McBrain)

....What ho sed de ting!

How you doing, you lot out there? Gosh! You, I guess you are now the proud owners of the very first little box set of the re-released singles from Iron Maiden. Well, I've got to say this, welcome to Not a lot of people know that, part 1. Cause here, I'm here I'm about to tell you a few stories now and in the next oooh nine releases of this here box sets, over the period of the next ten weeks. Now look here, first of all, my goodness, it's ten years almost to the day...my... ooh little chickadees out there, oh you've got your grubby little hands on Running Free, Burning Ambition, oh gosh! The very first single! Sanctuary, Drifter, and I've Got The Fire, the second singles..gosh! The first one was released, as I said, almost ten years to the very day on February 8, 1980. Cor, dear!

Here, I'll tell you something, right? You know 'Arry... 'Arry Harris, right, he had a band called Gypsy's Kiss ....yeah it's disgusting isn't it...and you know what that rhymes with dontya? Well if you don't, I'm not gonna tell ya anyway so there. He had this song called Burning Ambition, which I suppose was a real sort of drive for 'Arry then because he was, you know, full of ambition to get his music out and play it to people, and he had this song. And he was in this band Gypsies Kiss, well they were, cause they couldn't handle this song. And they turned around and said "'Arry you know look at all these chord changes and time changes", as he's famous for, and I should know...come on, give us a break. So, he took the song to the band and they've gone, "Oi 'Arry, gypsies kiss off will ya, I can't play that!" And he said, "Oi, I've had enough of this then, I'm gonna go find some people that can, so kiss you and all". So anyway that's what he did. Not kiss them, no, he did the other thing, you know, what it rhymes with... mm off. I'll say he pissed off, so there you go. Whatever. Now he went out and he formed a band, and um..uuh, Burning Ambition was actually recorded late in 1979 and originally featured the original drummer in fact of..in fact I think there was one guy before him...but Doug Sampson was on drums in those days. Dave double tracked on guitars... you know, he double tracked and all..he doesn't have to though, does he? You know what I'm saying.

Well, ok, Running Free as well was also the first art work from Riggsy...RIGGSY! Now you knowI tell people I'm actually from another planet you know cause I'm a bit off the wall, well I'll tell you this boy OWNS the other planet, my goodness! No god bless him, he's a diamond guy I love him, what an artist! He first brought Eddie into the first sleeve on this the Running Free single, and Eddie if you remember rightly was standing in the shadows, you never really saw him. But uh, oh my goodness, he brought him out didn't he, on the first album all in his glory and splendour, Eddie comes out and go "yeeeeh I'm here," so watch out folks. Well there, what can you say about it, Running Free, it's a song the band still to this day plays, it's one of the truly great Iron Maiden songs, I mean not only just because it was their first single, but...what a crack.

And now then, well we've gone through that, Burning Ambition we talked about, on the other side we got Sanctuary...on the other single rather, we've got Sanctuary, Drifter live, and I've Got The Fire, an old Montrose song. Well this... this was the first top-30 entry actually, it made number 29 and uh, oh you know the boys were really happy it was released 23rd of May 1980 cor dearie me, it was a couple within a few months of one another... You lucky boys and girls! Woah, as I said you've got one every week for ten weeks coming out here...ah, oh well. This was recorded by the way...the live Drifter and I've Got The Fire, was recorded in the Marquee in April 1980. And that was a good year, I've got a good drop of wine at home made in 1980, yeah still got half a bottle left, it's really good. I've Got The Fire, it's an old Montrose song as I said, and Steve liked it so he recorded it live, and it used to be a set opener for the band in those days, but on the back of that they kind of got into the deal of like not recording sort of Iron Maiden songs on the b's, this was when the beginnings when b-sides were other people's songs that the band decided to play.

Anyway around this time, they uh, they didn't get top of the pops ...rotten buggers...but we all know why, it's the bleedin BBC isn't it? Well you know we'll work out some sort of abbreviation for that later on...but anyway they couldn't get on because there was some industrial action, you know strikes and all that good stuff, you know what the BBC usually like to do...

You! He moved the broom!
Well, is he a labourer? No he f'king well ain't!
Well that's it, we're going on strike. Put your teacups up to your face lads, lets go out to the canteen and have another drink...

You know, whatever...Well what can you say, what can you say, strikes all around. So the boys didn't get to play top of the pops -- that's no biggie, you know they never play the band anyway do they? poxy BBC... Chrity!

Anyway funnily enough, around this time it the very first gig I ever did with Iron Maiden, no not actually playing with them like as a band, a full band. I played in a band called McKitty, and these guys in McKitty...a guy called Donnovan McKitty himself, we did a gig in Belgium, and it was in fact... not a lot of people know this...but it was in fact Maiden's very first European gig, how about that, and I was there! So there! Hmm! Stuff that up your f'king pipe and smoke it! Right! So there you go. I was, I was really privileged to be there, and that's when I really first met the band, we got on so well and we had such a riot....what can I say?

Anyway, you remember the Sanctuary sleeve, you lot? Yeah...Maggie Thatcher...weeelll, can you believe it, she was there, you know what she was trying to do...stupid cow... she was trying to pull down an Iron Maiden poster off the wall. Well, what can you say about that? Not a lot, believe me! She was...I dunno why they called her the iron maiden, do you? Nothing like this....I know why! Maybe because she's like Eddie! Hahahaha!

Listen! By the way I've got to tell you this little story real quick, allright, I'm running out of time on this one but nevertheless... You remember Eddie, right? Course you remember Eddie! Well this is the origin of Eddie, right. The band used to have this backdrop which featured this theatrical mask and it sort of spat out all this red dye and smoke and all that gobby stuff and here's poor old Clive sitting under it getting gobbed on every night... "Oy! what's all this?!", he's going, "What's all this red st...you know, this shit coming over my head, I've had enough of that paint", eh....anything you could find, anything they could find they'd sling in it. Anyway, they called him Eddie the Head, see, and it's after an old East-End joke that goes as follows:

'Ere, Eddie was very unfortunate, he was born without a body. So nevertheless, his parents loved him dearly and took him home and placed him on the mantelpiece one day. Well, his family gave him lots of love and attention and he always got loads of presents on his birthday kind of...blowing things, and hats and all that kind of stuff, wow... Anyway one year he was about 16, and the hospital phoned up Eddie's parents and they said to them, they said "look, due to modern technology and all those good things that we can do with you know all this stuff nowadays, we are now able to build Eddie a body." So, with this the parents were soooo excited, they couldn't believe it, and they couldn't wait to tell Eddie, I mean this is it, Eddie's gonna have a body! Weeeha! However, as it was close to his birthday, they decided to tell the doctors to go ahead and build his body, and then they would surprise him, you know they weren't far away from his birthday... well, a good birthday present, so anyway... A few weeks later the big day arrived, yes, Eddie's birthday. So his parents goes up to him, and walked up to the mantelpiece and "Hello Eddie, how you doin? This year is gonna to be the best birthday yet! Have we got something for you, such a wonderful present! And his mum's going "Oh goodness Eddie we're so pleased!" And Eddie's going, "Oh no!" said Eddie, "Not another fucking hat!"

Hahahahaha! Oh, I think it's funny! Shit, it is! It's pretty good innit! Anyway, after this...anyway, Derek came up with the creature Eddie and the body and that on the record covers, and the name was just carried over and the rest is history innit? And Eddie's out there, yet he's got to have a bit of nookie before long, that's all I can say.


Volver


LISTEN WITH NICKO!, part II

(McBrain)

....What ho hahahaha!

Well, welcome once again to the Not a lot of people know that, part II. Or in other words, Nick's verbal diarrhoea for the second time running. You lucky lot! Now you're out there holding in your sweaty palms and all them grubby little fingers and hands, are holding, ooh the second re-released singles box set from Iron Maiden, the second weeks now we're running, now we're onto a cruise. Women In Uniform! You've just listened to it! Invasion! You've just listened to it! Phantom Of The Opera! You've just listened to it! Ohh, and Twilight Zone and Wrathchild, both 'Arry Harris..bomber Harris compositions of the most outstandingly stunning performances! Marvellous!

Well, look it here, look here! Women In Uniform, mmmmmm. Now then 'Arry, you slipped up....listen don't tell him but you know it wasn't a song by 'Arry, see, but he knows that anyway, don't he. Wot? Anyway, Women In Uniform, written by the Macainah brothers... I think I pronounced that right lads... if you're listening, well too f'king bad if I ain't, I'm very sorry but anyway, nevertheless. Aussie band, Skyhooks I believe they were called, the name of the band, first originally recorded this Women In Uniform. The boys decided to do it, and released this single 27th of October 1980. And uh, well, great song, you know... doo doo ah dee dee... good song, and all that. And as I say, you've got Invasion and Phantom Of The Opera live. My goodness, aren't you lucky people... Gosh I don't even have this stuff at home. You know what, I tell ya, one of the reasons that we're releasing all these bits and pieces, not only to celebrate ten years with such a great company as EMI, but not a lot of us have got a complete set of the singles and all that stuff so it's really so we can get the old collection going. Yeah, so anyway, nevertheless!

Right, now Mike Kenny made his debut in the video as Eddie I do believe, on the very first promo video. Well, I say the first promo,.. the Invasion video, was the first rock promo, one of the first rock promos by a British rock band. I suppose you think Queen with their Bohemian Rhapsody was close to that, you know, I think they were probably the very first. But it was quite visionary if you think of the importance of videos now, you get it...vision...quite vis....yeah, allright ok, cut the crap and get on with it. Alright so there you go, first song the band's ever released in a-side is by somebody else, and uh yeah, that's cool. And by the way, Invasion was part of the band's you know the stage set that the boys used to use in the late 70's, and originally it was released on the Soundhouse Tapes. Oh, we all know about the Soundhouse Tapes...<slaps himself> take that if you don't! wooh, I'll give you ........I wanna hit you so hard.... Anyway! Invasion was on the Soundhouse Tapes, and Steve and the guys decided to record a proper studio version of this song, so that's why that was re-done basically.

And Phantom was recorded at the Marquee in July 1980, oh yes you lucky Maidenettes and Maiden guys and all that out there! Four dates in one week, to wind up their summer UK tour in 1980, can you remember that? What a great time! Did Top Of The Pops live, again, by the way, and the guys did the sound check...this is, not a lot of people know this....and the did the sound check in the afternoon. And a minute before the performance the sound monitor engineer turned around and says "I'm not gonna have this...you're too loud, we're gonna turn it down". And they messed around with all the twiddly knobs and everything, on the desk, ON THE DESK!!! right? And it totally poxed it all up. So the boys vowed never to play..um... I said Top Of The Pops, didn't I. Well you know that company on the last thing I was trying to think of an abbreviation for, right? Well you know what I'm talking about right? Well it's the Bleeding Bojack Company, right, that's what it is, and that's what they done to 'em so it's on the videos now and that's it. Boom.

So you lucky lot. Oooh, Twilight Zone and Wrathchild, both as I said, 'Arry Harris compositions... released the 2nd of March 1981, got to chart position 31. Not bad, eh! Oh by the way, the Women In Uniform and Invasion and that got to 35, I think I forgot to mention that. If I did mention it, too f'king bad, allright. So, Twilight Zone and Wrathchild, that was recorded as part of a Killers session at the turn of '80 and '81. Now Martin, he actually couldn't be there at this particular session, so the boys produced Twilight Zone themselves. Quite clever when you think about it, aren't they, playing and producing it at the same time. Amazing! Anyway, hahaha, so they decided to release this Twilight Zone on the Killer's album. And so the boys and Rod sent a telex over to Japan, see, and they explained all the details of the song. So the Japanese, they're a funny lot aren't they, they took it literally, and the song was printed as Details Of Twilight Zone. My goodness, that's a cracker innit? Hah!

By the way, boys and girls, if you know your trivia. Mr. H. Adrian Smith joined the band in that particular time, didn't he? Yeah, now Twilight Zone, this happened to be Adrian's first single with the band. Now not a lot of people would remember that, but then again, probably they would, so I'll stuff it in the pipe and smoke it. H joined the band in September 1980, and as you know, on the back of this as it's a double a-side, it was Wrathchild, and Adrian had to learn Wrathchild as part of his audition, you know. He also had to show the boys that he could kick a football and down a pint of beer in five seconds. He managed both of them no problem, now Wrathchild he had to do the business. Well all I can say is this... he must have done a f'king good job ain't he, eh? Cause he's steaming and he's right there, see? So, not a lot of people knew that either. So anyway, that's H's audition out of the way, and he was always happening and he went out on the tour in 1980 and 1981 and all this. And, well, there you go. As it happens, as I said, the session that they did with the Twilight Zone and Wrathchild came out so well that they released it as a double a-side... By the way, as we're talking about musicians, I've got a joke for ya. I'm not gonna to like it very much, but you might, allright, so here it is:

What do you call somebody that hangs around with musicians? Awwww no, not that one! Surely! Alright, a bloody drummer!

Alright, now I've said it and all the boys are at me, I've got that one out of the way. Thanks a lot Rod, hmmm. There you go. Oh by the way, I was in a band called Trust around that period of time, and in fact, the boys, we came out with Iron Maiden on their Killers tour of Great Britain. And not a lot of people know that either. But uh, we had a great time, we did about three and a half weeks with the band, and we had a serious... it was great! Well, what can I say? Not a lot anymore, I think I've just about covered all that one. Um, so I'm going down the pub to have a beer. Tada!


Volver


LISTEN WITH NICKO!, part III

(McBrain)

<snore>....<snore>....
<Someone else>: Hey Nicko, wake up the tape's rolling...

Ah! ok now, well! What you doing letting me go to sleep now? Yeah, ah! Did you say the tape's rolling? Well look here, I mustn't....I can't go to sleep in the studio....time costs money don't it, you know what I mean. It's what she said last night... Hahahaha! Yes, she cleaned me out, she did, I tell ya. Don't tell the wife though...be in you know proverbial shit creek without a paddle, or should I say without the old pussy. Ooh ooh! You know, no nookie for a year, watch out. Might not even have any nookie ever, cause she'll probably chop my head off. Hmmm, yeah, that's a bit... that's a thought...gotta watch out.

Anyway! Lucky you, welcome to "not alot of people knew that, or know that, or even still don't know it -- notes number three". Ding! Love it! Purgatory and Genghis Khan are in your proud possession. And you have probably just had an assortment of audible boosting out of those speakers right into your lug holes. And you've also got Killers, Innocent Exile, Remember Tomorrow and Running Free... Maiden Japan. Released 14th of September 1981, that little lot was... We'll get to that in a minute.

Anyway, Purgatory, eh, Genghis Khan...well the boys, didn't they...they had the only non-top-50 single ever? Where was I? Hmm. Anyway! Well that's enough of that. Uuuh, released the 15th of June, Purgatory and Genghis Khan were, or was, hmm. And it's just been released again, hasn't it? Cause you are the proud owner of it, and you're listening to me again... oh no, they say...oh no...ten sick toads to bail me out... oh no, it's Nicko...Ohhh! Well look here, it's a little bit of trivia for you on this one. I know that not alot of people know this, cause I even didn't know this, and I'll admit this....I did not know this, all right. I'll say it again, I did not know this. Purgatory was originally called Floating, hmm, and it was part of Iron Maiden's live show between '76 and '77, would you believe! It was originally played at a very much slower tempo than what is being played at on you know past excursions, so to speak. Well, Steve...he likes to play a little bit faster, he does, see...likes it oooh, and I like that too. And he decided.. he said to the band, "look, I like uh... you know... I like this song, you like it to don't ya?" They said "sure"...well they had to didn't they? And uh, Hahaha! So, anyway they rearranged it and beefed it up for the Killers album, and c'est la vie, or as it is, c'est quoi, or say what, there it is. Purgatory. As it happens, at the right tempo...boom! Love it! Cause Steve...you know, there's certain songs that are written... we'll get onto that later on, there's a little story I'll tell you about that too.

But uh, here you go, Genghis Khan... that was sort of a filling song, if you like. It was written on short notice... that's why it's a short song! Hahahah! Stupid idiot. Maiden discovered they were short of a song on the Killers album. So, they sat down and sort of went "here, let's think of something." And it was given a working title of Jenkin's Barn... god knows why, Genghis Khan...Jenkin's Barn...I suppose it rhymes, doesn't it? Anyway, I dunno, soppy sod...works in mysterious ways, this music business, don't it? Anyway, the sleeve for the Purgatory single was originally the Number Of The Beast album art work. And the band decided it was too good to keep for the... you know... too good to keep! It was best..it was too good so they wanted to keep it... (slaps himself) ...ooh, wake up! They wanted to keep it for the next album...cor, that hurt. Dave, what'd you do that for, man? Anyway... they wanted to keep it for the next album, cause it fitted perfectly with the old NOB. Well, now look, that's rephrase that...NOB being an abbreviation for Number Of The Beast. Now we'll get into that later on right so. Number Of The Beast, yes. And, it felt... you know... Steve had this song with him and.... "yeah... that's what we'll do, we'll keep this art work for the album." So Derek did a new Eddie and he did the Eddie-devil sleeve for the single which you all know, which you're standing looking at, or sitting looking at, or lying on the floor or on top of your missus or she's on top of you, looking at it... I don't know what you're doing but but you're having it in your hand ain't ya? No, the sleeve, silly! The sleeve! Right! Now as I said, it didn't make the top... it didn't get over 50... it got chart position 52. As I said, where was I? It'd been up number one and all...ahhm, nevermind. Ah, hahaha, Jesus.

Anyway! Maiden Japan! What can you say about this? This actually was recorded on the band's very first Japanese tour. And uh, the actual Japanese version of this record was titled Heavy Metal Army and there was no equivalent words in the Japanese language for Maiden Japan. I would have thought they just should have said it <Japanese accent> "Maiden Japan" and called it that! Well nevertheless. This was the last Maiden release to feature Paul Di'Anno, as we know. What a great singer, he was with the band for quite a few years, many, you know, quite a number of years, a few years there. But, Paul went on to different pastures, green and blue and white and yellow, whatever they were. Um, but any... oh, by the way on the Japanese sleeve it says "pray roud". Hahaha, Jeez! Pray roud! It don't take a degree in English science to work that one out, does it? Eh? Does it? What do you mean what does it mean? PRAY ROUD! Right, that's enough of that. Anyway, by the way, Rod took all the photographs for this band... uh, for this single, the single you know, all the live shots uuh...for the Maiden Japan. And he went down, he went down the old duh duty free racket market, you know like <Japanese accent> "ooh aah, you give me money, ooh, think of me Rod-san, you can have this!" So anyway, he bought a Cannon camera on the cheap, as usual. And actually this is definitely where Ross got his inspiration from... I mean what can I say, Rod actually astounded the photo world with his prowess behind the lens. What a great...what a c... what a cracker! What a cracker. Anyway, by the way, one little point... this got to to number 43 on the charts, this Maiden Japan, released 14th of September 1981, and again if I said it already, to f'king bad.

Now. Oh yes, this is a joke for ya. If the answer to the question is "my cock robin", what's the question? "What's that... in my arse Batman!" Hahahahah!


Volver


LISTEN WITH NICKO!, part IV

(McBrain)

What ho sed de ting!

I'm back, nyaaah! You thought you got away with it, didn't you? But you didn't. No, not on your fourth little box set of Run To The Hills, Total Eclipse, Number Of The Beast, and Remember Tomorrow live. Aaah! Box number four. Do you like it so far? What a great set of singles and all that good stuff ... original art work and all that good stuff! Well, you are again the proud owner of number four, Run To The Hills - Total Eclipse, released the 12th of February 1982. And welcome once again to "Not a lot of...not a lot of people know that" Hahah, oh dear, it's getting worse isn't it? Well I have been in here for two or three days and they won't let me out! No. They've left me stuck in this here studio and what can I do but mumble on and jumble on and get the words back to front and front to back and all that good stuff.

Run To The Hills, chart position number seven, got there. Released 12th of February 1982, If I said that already, too f'king bad! Ah, it was first released, as I said, whenever it was, featuring Bruce on vocals. Now Bruce had joined the band in September '81, and if you think about it it's almost a to the day a year after Adrian joined, September 1980. Hmm. It was the band's first single, as it happens, to reach the top ten. <cheers, whistles, and claps> Great! Well, what can you say about that? Thank you guys and fans and girls...guys and girls...all the people out there that bought that, I mean phuuhh, got it to number seven. And also it was one of the favourites of you guys the fans, when we play it it's great, we start off and Bruce introduces the song and everyone's right there with us to know the words and sing along like you do with a lot of our songs, but I think that definitely because it was such a popular first top ten single as well such a popular song. Also the video for Run To The Hills was .... the out takes.... remember the bit with the indians there, and he's sitting on a penny farthing, you know and they're all getting shot with a bow and the guy in the back with about six million arrows hanging out of his hat... And the guy goes and he gets scalped, and the geezer goes up behind the indian, oh no, the indian goes up behind the guy right. Oh yeah, I got it right that time. And he scalps him! And he pulls his hair off, and he's got a bloody toupee on his ... he's got no hair! He's got a bald head! And the guy...whew, I think they're really great. Well it's a Buster Keaton movie actually, but Buster they couldn't show him because he'd have got... they'd have got copyright problems and all that. And it was also fun enough, a big MTV favourite. Now, music television was released over in the United States before we got it on cable or satellite which is now happening in England. And uh, this was in the days when they had some serious, you know, they had some good taste, these guys. I mean, they were playing rock'n'roll and there was heavy metal. Now, they're they're just like what's that, that other lot, the Bleedin Bojack Company! You know, I'll find an abbreviation for the MTV mob, don't you worry have no friggin fear! I shall get there! There you go, brilliant success, great story.

Now moving on to the other single in the set, you've got Number Of The Beast, haven't ya? Well if you haven't there's a mistake. Get onto EMI and have a word...<slaps something>...slap'em around the back of the head like that for an opener, or a punch in the chops would be good. You know. Number Of The Beast, 'Arry Harris composition again, Remember Tomorrow live, 'Arryis..'Arry 'Arrisssizzzz and Paul Duh..Duh..Duh..Di'Anno. Chart position 18 it got to, that was released on 26th of April 1982. And it was off of the album of the same name, Number - Of - The - Beast! Allright? Got that? Allright. You know what I said earlier on as well, I think it was not a lot of people know that part three, or it might have even been part two, I don't know. I can't really remember, it was too many days ago...remember I told you they kept me in here for a few weeks...few days. Um, it was released off of the album of the same name. When they were recording the album, which was at Battery Studio in London, Mr. Martin Birch had a car crash, and all the old equipment in the studio kept breaking down. All this kind of things were going on. But after he got the bill presented to him, through the accident that he'd had, his car....the damage bill was six hundred and sixty six quid, sixty six p! No on my life, I am not pulling the dinger! I am telling ya, this is god's honest truth. Well after the release of the album, the band were branded as satanists only to boot! What a bunch of prats! I mean these people have no idea, and they've got their noses stuck up, you know, probably up each others bum, you know. Or whatever. Anyway, it's all about Steve having a nightmare, I mean he has them pretty often... poor guy, you know, I mean I pity the wife... "god Steve, whats the matter!" "uh oh uh oh uh oh uh! oh god, it's coming for me! oh, Eddie! Eddie! Get away!" Hahahaha! Poor old Lor, never mind. Anyway...it's horrible though..no, you can't make fun of nightmares. No they're not very nice things, but Steve had a nightmare what could actually happen if he got involved with all this sort of satanist stuff, and all that mumbo jumbo and all that mean gear. Well you know, here you go. So basically that was his inspiration to the song, and out of that came NOB, and outta NOB came the album. Hahahaha. Wonder what the wife looked like? Hahaha, Jesus. I don't know, it's my sense of humour, you probably don't understand, I don't care anyway.

Anyway, by the way, the video was shot at the Newcastle city hall. And Rod and the boys asked the local radio station, or asked the ballroom dancers to come up and feature in the video. They did. Phuuh, pretty good weren't it? By the way, it was my uhh...I was still with Trust at that time, and um, we actually did a ten or twelve date...I think it was ten dates of European tour with Maiden on the Number Of The Beast tour when they were in Europe. And, just..after this, a couple of months after this period of time on the tour, the band did a Belgian TV show, and in fact this was my very very very first performance with Iron Maiden....not a lot of people know that...and we played Number Of The Beast, I guess it was, I think it was Killers and Run To The Hills, something like that. I might have been wrong, and then again too bad if I am! So what you gonna do about it! <hits microphone> Take that! So! Hahahaha, sorry Dave. Oh gosh, oh my microphone!

Anyway, ah! Remember Tomorrow. Well, this was recorded in Italy...well you can remember tomorrow if you like, I can't even remember yesterday or even today, so it's up to you. Hahaha. Heh. Anyway, Remember Tomorrow was recorded in Italy during Bruce's very first live dates with Maiden. And they went out there to do some gigs with Bruce and break him in, so to speak. He fell.. he fell into a vat of starch the night before. Hahahaha! Dear! Oh god! And he did a few dates before the small U.K. tour at the end of 1981, and that's uh, that's where Remember Tomorrow was recorded. That's why hence it's Remember Tomorrow live. And I say, it got to chart position 18, released 26th of April. Good stuff! Anyway, by the way I've gotta go, so look, if I don't see you in the spring which ain't too far away right, I'll see you in a mattress! Hahahahaha! Toodle-do! Bye.


Volver


LISTEN WITH NICKO!, part V

(McBrain)

What ho.... sed de ting!

Welcome to "not alot of people know that, part 5." Yes, you lot out there, ah you're so lucky again! How can you be getting so lucky, my God! Flight of Icarus in those grubby dirty by now horribly sticky little fingers and hands and grubby palms, and oh what else is grubby, I don't know. Flight Of Icarus, I've Got The Fire! Wooo, I have right now thinking about this, oh my goodness the memories for this, my very first exotic jaunt over to the island of Jersey, followed by a swift little airplane ride 3000 kilometres due...east of ah...well no, no, got that wrong, due west of Watford. My goodness, I go the wrong way and get to bleedin Russia, it'd be all over. Yes, due west of Watford, 3000 odd bloody miles -- forget this kilometre stuff, where do you think you are, bleedin France? No thanks very much, I'm right here!

Anyway, Flight of Icarus, doo dee doo! Flight Of Icarus, my first single, released the 11th of April 1983, chart position number eleven...da de de da! Didn't quite get to number ten, did it? Anyway, my first record with the band...I starred in the video! Did you see that? Did you see that handsome geezer with the blue chops? Wasn't half cold out there! Anyway no! We did this...ah, fantastic! First trip to Jap... uh... from Jersey to Nassau to do the album, we had five weeks rehearsal in Jersey....well, we had two weeks really because ended up three weeks partying at the bar. My goodness, we had the only 24-hour bar on the island, and we ah...funnily enough we managed to cram 25 hours in a day, hahaha! So there we are, fifteen days before we're supposed to leave....fifteen days! We hadn't even written any...well, the boys had written some....but we really hadn't rehearsed anything cause we was partying to much and having a good time, and all that good stuff. So there you are, we get this....most of the song's written, get to Jersey, boom!

Oh, by the way, when we first arrived in Jersey, the first place we went to was a place called The Traveller's Rest. Dear Tony Wiggins our tour manager, he told us all about this place because he checked it out before us. Said "here look, you've got to come in this place before we go" and that's the first thing we did, got of the plane, picked the suitcase up, "HILLO!" they said, "HOWWYOU!", "we're fine", "Ok you can come through". So we go through, get in the cabs...off we go, Traveller's Rest. Stopped in the Traveller's Rest. "You've gotta have a banana daquery" says Tony Wiggens. Well allright, lets have a drop.. banana juice... we says, banana juice... it's a poof's drink! So, fair enough, so there we are sitting at the bar, and there's five poofs sitting at the bar, us! Hahaha! Drinking these daqueries. Hahaha, no! So, the first one goes down, we thought "f'king great, nothing to it, lets have another one!" F'king second one goes down... fifteen minutes later we're on our third banana daquery. Now, we're talking serious alcohol here but you don't taste it because it's a frozen drink, it's bunged in a blender, loads of ice, ton of banana liqueur, na...banana, lot of lichee, and lots of wizzing around of varous parts, and you stick it in a glass and stuff it up with a straw. For about...three of these as I said later, ...quarter of an hour goes by ... half an hour, we try to stand up and leave. I mean, it was like, you know, "Gaaaahh, where we goin?" Ah, we were gone! We, we, we spent many a night down in that place, but only after an hour...we did have a party after we actually recorded Flight of Icarus... we went down to the pub and ah, tried to get it and gave up. The next day it weren't happening, but we went after we celebrated... we went out and celebrated the first single being recorded.

But just before we did this, recorded the song. Steve said to me, he said, "don't you think we ought to speed it up a bit?" I said, "Yeah, I think it should be a bit faster." And Dave and H....um, Bruce and H, sorry, had written this song. And they were like very adamant about the tempo of this thing, they didn't want it sort of speeding up or anything like this. So 'Arry said "play it a bit faster." I said "yes, I'll nuts it up, don't worry" So we get in the studio and rehearsed it, we done it once or twice and it was, you know, happening. But not so...f'king hell, I'll boost it up a tad... I'll pump it... you know. So I'm out there, "boom do do da do do doom do do da! do do doom..." you know, allright we go... hah! and ah Bruce, Dave and H going "aah Nick, what you.. f'king... what'd you doing?" You know, I said "Nothing!", and I thought to myself, "Ah there we go, the new boy in the band, and they think he's only been in the band f'king two months and he's speeding everything up, you know." Anyway, as it turned out, it's great, wasn't it? It was really a good song.

So, they asked me to do the video. So out we are, and they said, "look do you want to do the video? You can be the old man in it." I said, "Old man? Look here, look here who do you think you're talking to... old man! Give us a break!" They said, "well you are, aren't ya." F'king cheek! Swift kick up the jackseat for that! ah boof! That gave them one right up the bum, didn't it? So there I am, I'm out there, they said...I said, allright I'll do the video. And they said, yeah but ahhh.....we gotta blue your chops. I said "what?" They said, "we gotta put blue makeup on your face." I said, "you can piss off! I ain't having none of that!" They said, "You f'king will, if you wanna star in the video!" Neeah! So there! You wanna do it or not? I thought, "well....f'king 'ell, I am the new boy, and I should do it really, it'll be a bit fun." And it was, it turned out to be the most amazing... fun... I tell ya, we really had a good time. Couple of dodgy moments when I was standing on the edge of this little cliff looking down at the...or looking out to the ocean. The wind was blowing, no the wind. I mean, I was (farting noise) as well, certainly, but nevertheless. It was... I was crying a lot of that, sixty... fifty... sixty feet down to the ocean! F'king great big waves rolling in there, I mean I only needed to fall over and that was it! Goodbye, no f'king Icky to help me out with the wings....c'mon dad, watch this!

Anyway, that leads me on to I've Got The Fire, which is on the b-side as you know, of Flight Of Icarus. Now, for you boys and girls out there who've been paying attention and doing your homework, and buying the first, second, third, and fourth box set of the new singles, et cetera, or the old new singles. I've Got The Fire was recorded on the very very first Maiden single which was Running Free, now we've already talked about that. But the boys decided to do it. Steve said, "I'd like to have the penultimate... or not the penultimate, the definive... de... DEFINITIVE version of this, studio version wise, lets do it again." So that's why we bunged that one on the Icarus single.

Now moving on slowly but surely to The Trooper. Now that's a great old.... oh man, that's a song to play, man! (hums and drums in the background).... All that, yeah! Gosh! Bringing back some.... I wanna go out and do it. Based on a charge of the light brigade! Watch out! My goodness, woah, never has there been so many to fight so few! Or whatever, I don't know, that was Winnie, the wrong one. Aces High, that's coming up next kids. Yeah, well that's you know, in the next box set if you go out and buy it, you'll hear it on the next "Nicko's uuh, you didn't know... you know not a lot of people knew that..." Right? Number six I guess it'll be then. But anyway, yeah, oh I remember.... in.... what was it? What was it? Into the valley of death rode the however many it was, that was what I was trying to think of and I got the Winnie quote down the wrong way. Nevertheless! Yes, great song.

Cross-eyed Mary. Ian Anderson wrote this song, Jethro Tull played it. We recorded it... the b-side. Did I tell you it was released the 28th of June 1983? Chart position 12? Well if I told you that once already, f'king too bad! So what! Nyah! See. Had to get that one in. And as a matter of fact, the Cross-eyed Mary received.... gosh, I mean, ultimates ultimates lots of loads of and indies and outsies of U.S. airplay, I tell ya, this was one of the biggest... THE song to be played the most on U.S. airplay from Iron Maiden. Ain't that funny. It's the best one that they ever played. Well I guess their answer would say that's f'king life, innit.

Oh by the way, just before I sign off... because I've gotta go now... you know, there's a beer waiting for me down the road in the bar. So I thought I'd better go in and have myself a little liquid libation, being I'm half way throught these little box sets here. Did you hear the one about the queer shepherd? No? Well, he kept mounting goats! Hahahahahaha! It's stupid, innit? I love it though... oh gosh! Ok, take care of yourselves, see you later alright? Bye.


Volver


LISTEN WITH NICKO!, part VI

(McBrain)

(drumming and singing in the background)...
Oh..Oh! You cheeky! You slimeball! What did you do that for, you rotten terror Dave? You f'king put my own voice and verbals in the... you know, they've heard me trying to sing this f'king song now.

Well how ya doing out there, you lot? Eh? Welcome yet again to Nicko's "not alot of people know that, or knew that, or still don't... I don't know, whatever it is nowadays... number six." You are absolutely devastatingly spoiled, the lot of ya. You're out there in your greasy sweaty debauched horrible stinking little palms and fingers and all those horrible little bits and pieces that go on your hands... Are now the proudiest of possibly the most amazed Iron Maiden fans to own 2 Minutes To Midnight, Rainbow's Gold, Mission From 'Arry... hoho! We shall talk about that later... And as you heard, that rotten Dave there will be tiddling the knobs in the control room, decided to wack the microphone on... Aces High, King Of Twilight, Number Of The Beast live! Oh you gosh, you've got such a package there! How can you still be sane, after this? I mean, goodness gracious, listen to me, I've been playing it for six years! Hahahaa! Anyway, no!

Oh gosh, (sings) two minutes to midnight.... cha! Released the 6th of August 1984. My third single with the band. I guess that must make the band's eleventh or tenth single, whenever. Don't f'king write in and say, "Nicko got it wrooong." or else I'll... (hits the microphone)... give you some of that! And, it got to number 11 in the charts and this great British... oh by the way, earlier on I was thinking of trying to think... you know we had the Bleeding Bojack Company, which we all know who that is by now, right? Now there was another company that I sort of mentioned prior to this little speech I'm giving to you now, and I won't actually tell you who it was, but the kind of... the... the abbreviation of this I suppose you'll get it from, but I though we could call them the Mighty Tight Veg, what do you think? I mean, they haven't got any clue, have they? You know, I mean, nevertheless! Hahaha! Now then, we all know who they are, cause they've wimped out. Nevertheless, we still got to number 11 in the great British charts thanks to you guys again, and girls, and all them little guyettes and guygirls and znznzn... all them people sort of whatever out there... First released single off the Powerslave album, and yet again this album was recorded in the Bahamas. Yes sir, mmmm hmmm! Now, as we all know, 2 Minutes To Midnight, great song, good video... the first story format that the band had ever put out on a video rather than just sort of crazy stuff and... and... the norm, you know. Hehehe.

Rainbow's Gold was a song written by some friends of the band's, a guy called Terry Slat... Slesser, sorry Terry I didn't mean to get it wrong... Terry Slesser and a guy called Kenny Mountain who ah... in a band called Beckett together, I do believe. I might have got that wrong... so f'king hell what if I have! You gonna do something about it? Huh huh? Come over here!

Anyway, now then, on the butt end of this here single was a track called Mission From 'Arry. See? Now, those of you out there, still to this day some of you think that this was a choreographed piece of entertainment for all you guys and girls. Well I can tell you it f'king well was not. It was in fact the, if only, the very f... only argument I've ever had with Steve Harris. We were onstage in Allantown Pennsylvania one evening... this was on the Piece Of Mind tour... when... although it was released on the back of a Powerslave single, it was actually recorded on the Piece Of Mind tour. And, I was doing a drum solo... you know, new boy in the band, do a drum solo Nick... get on with it. So in this period of time, Steve would go off to the back of the gig and change his... if he had a dodgy bass string, or he... normally he would... but what happened on this night, he was changing the battery on his remote, or his... should I say his transmitter. So, he sent this guy around to tell Mike my drum tech to tell me to extend my drum solo, cause he weren't ready. But he didn't tell my drum tech or his tech didn't tell my drum tech, he told this guy who was sitting at the back of the gig who was one of the riggers, a guy called Paul who's no longer with the band, I wonder why? No, anyway, he said to him, "tell Nick to extend his drum solo." So I'm playing... (makes drum noises).... and all that shit, and I gets a tap on the back and this guy says "Ooy!" I go, "What!" "Ooy! Blahahaey!" I go "What!" He's going "Heyheyhey ehey!" and he's pointing to Steve. I'm going, "EH?" He's going, "ah ah heyheyhey!" I'm going, "WHAT!!!" He's going, "WAHEHAAHAHAYYY!" I said, "FUCK OFFFFFF!!!" Hahah... Jesus Christ, he made me FUCK!!! Oh! Anyway, what could I do?

I stopped, I gone absolutely wally, so I've come off the gig anyway... and cut the... to make a long story even longer, I've come off the gig and I gone in the dressing room and I said, "That f'king geezer at the back of the gig! What the f'king hell does he think he's doing? There he is, he's giving me all these verbal signs and all this stuff right?" I said, "I couldn't understand him, he was about three feet behind me instead of coming up and shouting in my lughole." Harris said, "I sent him." I went, "You what?" He said, "I sent him." I said, "What the f'king hell you doing sending him around to give me messages?" He said, "Well, I had... you know... play a bit more and you know, need a bit more time to change my bass thing-a-me-bob." And I said, "I f'king care about that, this geezer made me fuck!" He said, "Well look, you better go and apologize to him." And I said, "F'king right I am! I ain't f'king appologizing to him, he made me fuck!" He said... hahaha! That's the argument. We argued about fifteen twenty minutes, and it all calmed down, and Bruce came in and he got a bloody cassette in his back pocket, and he said, "Oi Nick, what would happen if he tried to tell you the lighting truss was going to fall on your head?" And I said, "Don't you f'king well start!" And 'Arry said, "yeah, he's got a good point, ain't he?" So we started the argument again and Bruce recorded it. And then at the end of this Mission From 'Arry you'll remember this... 'Arry says... he grabs the tape... just before he grabs it, he sees this tape in the pocket and he's going "some (beep)'s recording this!" Hahahaha! So he got the tape, and that's basically how that all happened. But anyway, after this extravaganza, we thought it was so funny we had to let you guys hear it. And that's the only serious argument I've ever had with Steve in my life... all my life.

So, that just about gives me enough time in this little "not alot of people know that number six, part six, or whatever", to tell you just a tad about Aces High, which as you know has got King Of Twilight on it, and Number... NOB! of.. Number Of The Beast live. This song was released 22nd of... no it wasn't... heh! It was, it was released 22nd of October 1984. Chart position 20 that got to. Now, at the time we were rehearsing the Powerslave album, Steve was writing this single, I started to learn to fly airplanes in Jersey. And, I'd come home from the aerodrome, and I'd have the old... you know, twisting the old ends of the mustache, twiddling the old various bits and pieces... the hat and the goggles and the scarf... "Woah, tally-ho Biggles! You've bandits at six o'clock low, coming out of the sun, 12 o'clock high! Watch out, full power, bombs away Biggles!" You know, all that good stuff. And I think it sort of slightly influenced Steve to write this song, you know, about those 2nd World War Spitfire pilots and those guys. Hey, shhh... just between you and me, Steve... he doesn't like to fly. He hates it, he think's I'm an absolute nut case! But, you don't tell him I told you, will you, because he'd be very upset.

Anyway, Aces High, King Of Twilight.... great! What a package this one is for you! I wish I had more time to explain some more of the stories on 2 Minutes and things like that, around that time. But I really do have to go now, I'm running out of time. Oh yes, just a little joke for you before I leave. Have you heard the one about the two queers? The were fighting over a manhole! Hahahahah! See ya, I'm off! Bye!


Volver


LISTEN WITH NICKO!, part VII

(McBrain)

...oh, hey! What! Dave, is that you? Yeah? What day is it? Saturday. Saturday? What do you mean, I've been in here a week? I have? I don't remember.... I did number four or five the other week and I... you know, it was the other week, weren't it? It's too f.... I was in here for a couple of days then. Eh? What do you mean, stop pissing in the corner? Well if you'd let me out of this f'king room I wouldn't have to piss in the corner, would I? You're lucky I ain't taken a laxative or something like that! In fact I ain't had no nookie... I ain't had no... none of the other, or anything like that for a week! ...Get me out of it... Wot? I know, yeah allright, I know Rod said "get it done, at any cost". Well there, that's going a bit too far, isn't it. Oh, oh no.... tape's rolling! You... tosspot! Anyway! Well in that case, what'ho you lot out there! Hah! Jesus, you heard that didn't ya? Eh? Well I'm sorry you had to hear all this business, he started running that tape.... I've just been sitting in here on my own, being variously.... twiddling various parts of the body, thinking about what's going on. And he's run that frigging tape!

Welcome to Nicko's Not A Lot Of People Know That, Part 7! You lucky, indespicable-ly lucky, debauched! Oooooh, you've got your hands on Running Free, Sanctuary, Murders in the Mooo Mooo Rooooga... oah, The Rue Morgue, all live! Not only that but you've got a bumper package of serious songs.... and live! Goodness! Released the 23rd of September 1985, and they got to a chart position of number 19. Hmmm... Not a lot of people remember that. But, I do! Cause I played on them! Hah! Si! Now look, Murders in the Rue.... Oh by the way, you've got on the other side of that lovely little package in your hands, you've got Run To The Hills, Phantom Of The Opera, and Losfer Words, or in other words Big 'Orra! Ah! Now, however you want to pronounce it, "BIG ORRA" or "big orra", you know, Losfer Words will do. That little lot was released 2nd of December 1985, and I believe its chart position was number 26. So stuff it again, where you know where, or whatever you like. Put it where you want, I don't care as long as you grease it first... very sore if you don't.

Now! The first two tracks, as we said, Running Free and Sanctuary, were recorded at Long Beach. And I was there, so was Dave, Adrian, Steve, and Bruce. Haha! Good job too, or else we'd have had a piece of black vinyl! Mmmm. So. Now, these gigs we did were at Long Beach, and they were all sold out. Mmm hmmm, the very first and only... well maybe not only, but we were the first and only band at that particular point in time to sell out four nights in a row at the Long Beach Arena in Los f'king Angeles. Somewhere close anyway, a stone's throw down the road. Nevertheless! Powerslave tour! Hmmmm. By the way, Running Free... the photograph on the front of this single was by a man none other than Ross Halfin. He upstaged Derek Riggs for this one. Riggsy, hmmm, he didn't do any artwork cause Halfin did the photograph. And that, so the only shot of the band, live shot on any one of the singles we've ever had and ever probably will. So, not a lot of people know that. Now you do, so! What a useless piece of trivia that is.

Nevertheless! Uhhh, yes, what was I saying? Uhh, Running Free, Sanctuary, Murders.... you lucky lot! As I said, Run To The Hills, Phantom, and Losfer Words. Two songs right there, Murders and Losfer Words, you will not have heard anywhere else, even on the Live After Death offering, because it is not recorded on the vinyl, CD, or video. Now you are very lucky, double-bubble so, because you have got this stuff in your hands. Uuuh! Yes. Talking of which, the fourth side of the Live After Death, Wrathchild, 22 Acacia Avenue, Children Of The Damned, Die With Your Boots On, or whatever you like, and Phantom Of The Opera. All on the extra fourth side, or... not on the extra fourth side, I mean you've got two frigging albums you dummy, you've got two sides a piece, haven't you, you fool! I mean, it's not like your going to have five sides to an album, is it? Silly billy... Anyway, fourth side... only recorded on the album. Mmmm Hmmm! Good stuff!

Now, what can I say? You lot... you lot want to know a little story, something sort of about the time we were making this Powerslave album. Or, we'd actually made the album, should I say, and we were rehearsing the tour, you see, we were rehearsing for the tour in Miami. Well, a place called Fort Lauderdale, which is just a stone's throw from this very sickly horribly smelling disgustingly debauched studio I'm sitting in, talking to you from. Well, I was, because it's recorded so you know... I did this a couple of... whenever it was... moons and eons ago before this. So, just up the road from Fort Lauderdale. There we are. We were rehearsing... or there we were... we were rehearsing and all of a sudden, all of a sudden just like that, we get a phone call. You see. Lauren, I mean, I'm sorry... Lorraine, sorry Lor. Lorraine... 'Arry Harris, bomber Harris, Mrs. Bomber Harris, was expecting 'Arry Harris'.... Mrs. Bomber Harris' first nipper. You see! So! She was... the call of nature was coming and descending rather swiftly, so Steve and I... poor old codgy, he didn't want to fly all on his own... you know he doesn't like flying, I dunno if I told you about that, he hates it doesn't he? So, having all the experience of the Biggles zinc-stagger behind me, I said to Steve, "well look here, why don't I come back with you?" I mean, I like a couple of weeks in Jersey.

So Steve and I flew out of Miami to London Heathrow, and it was a Sunday... well, it was a Saturday when we left Miami, it was a Sunday morning when we arrived. So, we got absolutely f'king smashed to smithereens on the plane, right! Get's off the plane, staggers through customs, "Allright, excuse..." oh no, he says, (Indian accent) "could you please excuse me, would you come over here," this guy said to Steve Harris, and he's going... he looked at me, he said "what did I f'king tell you?" He said, "I f'king tell you, everytime I go through the f'king customs... I'm the straightest one out of the band, I don'f f'king smoke...I", well he does drink, but uh, whatever. You know. How can they nick him... all the frigging time, Murphy's Law, there he is, custom's man.... "What, please... come over here please, where have you just come from?" 'Arry's going, "Whoah look, f'king not that it's any of your business!" Well no, he didn't say that but, I mean he shoulda done. And he would have probably got in... got out of there quicker! Anyway, he didn't. So the guy said, "what do you have in this here bag?" And 'Arry said, "it's a f'king video, what do you think it is, what does it look like?" "Where did you get this from?" He said, "Oh, I f'king don't know, I got it in the States somewhere." "Do you have a f'king receipt?" 'Arry said, "I f'king don't!" "Oooh, goodness! I have you! You are nicked, at that proverbially up the creek shit with the paddle now!" And I said, allright frigging what am I gonna do now? So he's standing there, an hour and a half goes by! I'm... no, it wasn't quite an hour now, I lie, I kid you not though, it was about one hour fifteen minutes, cause I timed him! You know, I dunno when I started, I know I was pretty close. Because, as you know boys and girls, the licensing laws in England permit.... prevent you from having a liquid libation after two o'clock in the morning, I mean in the afternoon... and the morning. But, we wanted to make it to the pub to have a pint of real bear, because we'd been starved, we'd been eating them... drinking them poof drinks down in Nassau, which I told you all about, remember? By the way, it was Nassau Bahamas and not Jersey where the Traveller's rest was, see! So, there we were, standing at customs an hour fifteen minutes. I said... he comes out, he going "I f'king don't believe this," he said, "did you see what that geezer was asking?" I said "well, no, I just saw your feet underneath." I kept looking, I thought they'd run away with him, I was gonna call out the dogs and everything. You know, get on the phone with the lawyer... 'Arry's been arrested or something. We could... he was standing there hour and fifteen minutes.

So we gets in the limo, mind you we got to go to Gatwick to get a plane to Jersey. So we thought, we've got enough time to stop off in the proverbial boozer. So we said, yeah, fair enough. So the limo guy's going "I dunno if you're going to make this," it was like 1 o'clock when we left Heathrow. So I says, "Yes we will, if you put your boot to that... down to the floor, we can get down to the pub." So we did, we got to the Devonshire Arms, just on the Talgarth roundabout, down there on the old A4. So, we pops in there, has a quick swift half... then it was a pint... then it was a pint and a half.... then it was two... they were all in one pint glasses mind you. 'Arry's on the phone with the wife, "Got here allright," he says, ten past one. So we, you know... twenty past two, hahaha, we got a four o'clock plane to catch at Glas... at uh Glasgow, uuhh you wish... at Gatwick, see? Guy says, "I think you'd better leave if you're gonna make the plane." I says, (drunken voice) "ok... can I take a beer with us, gov'nor?" This guy, Michael and his wife, I don't know, they're not there anymore. So he says, "yeah look, take one of these flaggons... one of them little flaggons, they've got four and a half pints of beer in it, you know, little plastic jobs, take... carry that." So we got in this car, proceeded to go to Gatwick. Got on the plane to Jersey, gets on the plane and opens up this bottle, don't we. The pair of us, sitting right at the back of this 727, or whatever it was, DC-9. There we are, gargling back the old liquid nectar. Girl comes up and says "I'm sorry, you can't do that!" We said, "F'king too bad! Watcha gonna do, throw us off?" She said, "I'll f'king have you arrested!" We said, "Go ahead! We're having our drink anyway." We'd already finished half by this... we were 'faced!

Gets off at Jersey.... yes, you guessed it! Got done over by customs, the pair of us, didn't we? So there we are standing there, "Hello hello hello! What you been up to, you naughty boys?" "We just had a couple of beers on the plane, gov'nor." "Yeah, well, that took you a little bit of time to get pissed, it's only an hour flight..." "But we... we got on the plane in Miami!" Hah! "Ok," he says, "let's have a look in your bags." So, we got turned over again. That night, we carried on drinking, a whole 24 or 48 hours worth of boozing. 'Arry comes home... I left, I threw the towel in at 12 midnight, I couldn't handle it. We went to this place called Loberts in Jersey, man we got 'faced there, I mean we was gone when we got there. So I've given... thrown the towel in at 12 o'clock. Harris came back, must have been about half past two in the f'king morning, how he done it I've no idea. Five thirty, "oh God, gotta have a word with the gov'ner on the big white telephone, I'll be back in a minute." Two hours later, poor bloke he was green. I got up, I felt terrible, I says "Yeah, what's the matter with you?" "What do you f'king think?" He said, "What do you think?" I said, "aah, you ain't too well are ya?"

Three days later... three days later, this is the first week of July by the way folks. About three or four days later... we must have got there around the 30th of June. Anyway, what a great ending, Steve got rid of his hangover, I think it must have been the day he got rid of his hangover he gets a phone call from the wife, "I'm having here! I'm having it!" "Ok, I'll be right there!" Oh, he hops to the airport, gets on a plane, and uh, it was July the 6th actually, not a lot of people know that, but Lauren, his very first daughter... he's got three daughters now... uh uhh and uhh and uhh... she was born, I don't know what time in the day, but he got there alright and he was at the birth. And of course he's not looked back... looked back ever since. So, there you go... there's a little story from that period of time. I've got to go... I've got to go, I really do mean this, I've... (farting noise)... See, I'll see ya.


Volver


LISTEN WITH NICKO!, part VIII

(McBrain)

Oooooh, allow me to introduce meself! My name is... well you know who that is, don't you, boys and girls! Yes! If you are listening now, which you should be, or you have just done... to Wasted Years, ooooh an Adrian Smith composition, and Reach Out by a guy called Dave Calwell, and The Sheriff Of Huddersfield. Yeeeess, the sheriff, the one and only, Mr. Rodney Smallwood who we shall be speaking lots and lots and loads of verbal about very shortly. First of all, let me move this little scrap of paper out of the way, so I can speak to this stupid microphone without the f... (hits microphone)... stupid headphones falling off! Right! Yes. Adrian's first single as a writer... A-side of the band and all that. Bleedin' good stuff! Do you know that that song means that there is no good looking to lost opportunities in the past? Well who does, stupid people! Uh, you should always take hold of the present. Ah! That reminds me, I tied a bow on my boy last night, and that's what she said to me then... let's take hold of the present! Eh? No? Don't you get it? Don't you get it?...stupid people...

Anyway! Haha! Reach Out has Adrian singing, which is on the B-side, on the old mumbling jumbling vocals, and he used to play in a band called Urchin! Yuuurchin... get out of it. And, he had a bloke in the band called Dave Colwell, and I believe Andy Barnett was in there, we'll talk about him in a minute. Anyway, we had a little band called The Entire Population Of Hackney, see? And we did this little song, as we did... oh yes by the way, we've got Stranger In A Strange Land and That Girl and Juanita, (drums and sings)... "I'm never going back Juanita... I'm never going back... At all" Right! Now, that was written by a guy called Derek O'Neil and a guy called Steve Barnacle. But first of all, yes, I'd better give you the release date, which was the 22nd of November 1986. And it reached the chart position of 22, the avenue... ah! Anyway, nevertheless, yes. Stranger In A Strange Land... I will mention this because That Girl and Juanita which were on the B-side of this were actually songs that we recorded... Um, you know, with me and Adrian, just playing them on our own. Now not alot of people know that. But we did. The rest of the lazy gits in the band, they couldn't be bothered to learn the poxy song! So we went in there and recorded it ourselves! They said... 'Arry goes, "I don't f'king know this..." "Well go learn it!" He said, "well f'king why don't you record it, then I'll learn it." "Well that's a bit silly, innit?" He said, "No, go on. You get your f'king butts in there, the pair of you. You know the song, you do it!" So we did. And it turned out pretty good, didn't it? So those three songs were done like that.

Anyway, talking of... talking of That Girl by the way, for a second. A guy called Andy Barnett wrote that song. Talking of Barnets, you know Barnet fair... rhymes with hair... I went out the other night with this f'king red-head. No, no hair, just a f'king red head! Hahahaha! Anyway! Moving back, yes. Wasted Years, did mention it was released the 6th of September 1986? That one, by the way, reached the chart position of 18. And that wasn't bad was it? Nice one for H, first... first A-side, as I said, that he's written.

And then, moving on, it says here Sheriff Of Huddersfield as you very well know because you've just bloody listened to it, haven't you, you lucky lot. Now, I got to give you a little bit of history on our Rod Smallwood, our governor there, our second in command. Now, you picture this... there he is, living in the hills... Los... a little place called Los Angeles, a little speck on the map. Los f'king Angeles, it's called. And, he's living up in his little castle there, which is sort of up beyond the rainbow, see? Which is off the Sunset Strip. Anyway, he misses... he enormously misses his HP sauce, his can of mashy peas, his pork pies, and his rugby, and his cricket. Now, as you know, over in the great US of A, they've got this f'king abbreviation sort of game, or sort of a mixture game of rugby, and they call it f'king football! Stupid twits, it ain't nothing like football, is it! Anyway, nevertheless. He don't want to settle for that, he's wants all this... "Yooooo me old cronies, oooh jeezzz I missum all so much oh I'm drinking down at the pub five bloody pints of Yorkshire bitter with me pals, yooooo mamby pambies for me, oooooo."

So he misses it real big time, so there he is living out in the foothills of Los Angeles, so he thinks here I know what I'll do, "Yooooo, I'll get meself a bloody satellite and I'll stick it on top the bloody roof, and I can tune into all them bloody bleedin bojack company's coverage of the first, second, and third, and any bloody test match I can get my hands on." Plus all these rugby bits and pieces. So, he calls out this firm and he gets this satellite stuck on his roof, and the guy... (Hispanic accent) "ah si amigo! I have it all working for you now! There's nothing wrong! It's all cool..." So and Rod goes, "Ok, well you f'king well wait there, let me go and have a look." And he presses the buttons, right? And what does he get? All the American programmes.... all these poxy South American things with all these "whoabluaahabluahablee"...all that stuff going on, and you don't know what the f'king hell mumbo jumling they're doing, and they don't even have a clue what a f'king rugby ball looks like. So, he's pissed off! "Yoooo bloody no good to me! You know how much bloody money I spent on this bloody piece of shit! Dooooo, I can't even get my bloody bleedin bojack company! Oooooo, I've had enough!" So, oh I should add, ladies and gentlemen, that he's moved back to England! Haha, God bless him. Anyway, he wanted us to go out there and live with him. You know, he said "Yoooo, come on guys... yoooo, ...Nicky come and live here... bloody great... we can do that together... Doooo, I've got me own little corner of the rainbow, Ooooo, I've got my own mushy-piece pizza, and all that stuff good." Dear old Kieth Wilford, God bless him, he used to have to record all the old test matches and rugby games and send them Federal Express overnight to Rod, cause he needed to keep up with it. You know, so it was real serious for him out there.

And so, we had this song that Adrian had written that we had recorded on the Somewhere In Time album... at that period of time. And we thought, well come on then, lets put some words to this song, cause we didn't actually have any words. So, as it transpires, we decided to write a song about Rod, and we'd call it The Sheriff Of Huddersfield. By the way, I didn't tell ya... I hasting away... he actually is from Huddersfield, "Yoooo, bloody up north, yoooo," a hundred kilometres due north of Watford. Anyway! We all sat down, I was actually out of the room for about half an hour or fourty minutes before this... before we know, before... I walked in the room, everybody was sitting down, roadies, Steve Gadd, you know, Mike Kenney, Robbie Price, and Bill Barkeley, they were all in there... couple of studio engineers that were friendly to the band and that, and anybody.... But mind you, really it was only the band and the crew cause they knew Rod, so everybody came up with these ideas, and sort of the lyrics were down together by the whole lot of us. So, there's a bit in the middle isn't it, where Roddy goes... Bruce actually, goes, "Yooooo, allow me to introduce myself, my name is Rodney and I'm immensely strong! I can lift five navvies on the end of a shovel!" And it goes on like... well in that section, there's just a little spot where Bruce had to do that narrative bit, and he basically ad-libbed it. We had some... he had some notes, but he really just kind of blew through it, and it came out perfectly at the end of that sort of little solo section where Bruce does that little part. And so when he did it we were absolutely creased up, we could not believe it, we just started laughing and Martin Birch... Martin Jarr, the Gov'nor, or the animal, Birch, and all the good name and things we gave him over the years. He couldn't stop laughing, all the knobs were getting all butted out of place, and everyone was screaming and laughing and riotous. And thats how we sort of formulated The Sheriff Of Huddersfield.

But it was funny. And we thought, what's Rod gonna do... Oh whoah, by the way, one other thing about that was we couldn't let him know about it, cause we thought well if he find's out about it, he'll be onto the governors down at EMI there, and he'll be going, "Yoooo, bloody having none of that! Give us the bloody master tape! Yoooo, I'll bloody eat it! Give it to me now!" And so we thought well we'd better not let them... let him know. So we actually got in touch with the people at EMI and said to them, whatever you do, don't let Rod know there's a third track on this single. And keep it hidden from him, and you know don't let him hear anything until you've pressed it, cut the single, and it's all... cut it and pressed it and it's all ready to go. So, it was one of the best kept secrets in the business at that time, cause if he'd have found out, "Yooooo! That's it!" After he heard it, he said "That's it, yoooo! You're fired, the bloody lot of you! Yooooo, I don't want to be your manager! Yoooo." We said, "Sorry. We're gonna hold you to your f'king contract, so there!" Hahahaha! No, God bless him, he took it great... he sort of gave us a bit of a hard time for awhile, but I think he saw the error of his ways and he moved back to England and now he's happier and he lives happily ever after down the road with his missus, Kathy. So! Hi Kath! How you doing! (whistles)

Anyway! Yes, Stranger In A Strange Land, that's moving on, I've only got a few minutes now to tell you about the sleeve for this here single. And, Stranger In A Strange Land was based on a story that Adrian had read in the newspaper about and expedition that got lost in the North Pole... silly gits! Course they f'king get lost, there's no signposts up there, are there! And they found some frozen bodies almost perfectly preserved... I wonder what parts were not preserved... hmmm... Anyway! Adrian, apparently he met one of the expedition who was a survivor.... I guess he must have been a bit old, eh, it was f'king years ago. I dunno. Anyway no, he bought the album because of the song, apparently, and now he's actually one of Maiden's top fans. So there, stuff that up your jacksie, see! Anyway, there we go, say no more. Yes, oh well yes, I was going to say about the sleeve for this here distinguished sleeve, as we looked at it we see Eddie, don't we? And he, who's he look like? Eh? "Go ahead punk! Make my day!" Buuuh! Yes, Clint Eastwood no less, himself! I wonder if he seen this, I wonder what he thought when he that grotesque Eddie, looking like him with the old cigarette in the gob. You know, standing in that stupid bar with all them silly twits around him from Star Wars and all that stuff, you know. Well there you go, Eddie was Clint Eastwood in that, well see. And yeah, good song, good single! And thanks to you guys, chart position 22 as I said, released the 22nd of November as I said, if I didn't... (hits microphone).... too bad! Don't you die on me this time, microphone... There you go!

Oh by the way, just to mention that Andy Barnett and Dave Calwell who both have songs on the B-sides of that there Wasted Years and Stranger In A Strange Land are actually performing, yes, no less performing... no you twits, playing the guitars on Adrian's solo album which is called As Soon As Possible, I guess, or Adrian Smith and Pals, or Azzap, or as about...ap, or whatever. You can work it out, you can come up with your own abbreviation for that. But, there you go, listen to that, sweet stuff! I'm going. I've been in here too bleeding long, I'm going down to the pub now. You've gotta admit I deserve it by now, I've sat in this place and I've gotta go. That's all there is to it.


Volver


LISTEN WITH NICKO!, part IX

(McBrain)

...what ho! Nicko here! Welcome to Nicko's "Not alot of people know that, number 9!" Yes! This is the one that comes after eight or before ten, but if you don't have number eight, it comes after seven, doesn't it? Yes, well you stupid little people out there, if you do not have number eight or number seven or one of them's missing, because if you don't have those little tokens in your sticky greasy palms and you don't have ten of them at the end of these ten weeks of releases of the re-released rather singles of Iron Maiden, you won't get your little box set, will you? No! Because as you know by now... I haven't told you but you should know... you will be the proud owner of a special box with some seriously good artwork from Mr. Derek Riggs. Yes! And you will then be able to put all those greasy horribly grubby pieces of vinyl in there which as you know will have those amazing pictures on them and the little artwork, packages, and sleeves... and all that good stuff in that box! So, keep them all or else you'll be in severely good trouble! (hits the microphone)... Take that!

Now then! Now! You are severely in some trouble now, because you've got Can I Play With Madness, Black Bart Blues, Massacre! Mmmmmm! Can I Play With Madness written by Harry Harris, Black Bart Blues by Harry Harris and Bruce Dickinson, Massacre Lynott, Gorham, and Downey. Yes, released the 2nd of March 1988, and it got to... (taps microphone)... what was that? (taps microphone)... Three! Yes, number three! It debuted at number four in the charts, thanks to you lot out there, you horrible viscious mean people to go out and buy such a seriously good single as that and get it to number three. Hahaha! No serious, folks, hah! This, what can you say, debuted at number four.

Oh by the way on a more sombre note, and something like that... must say before we go much further... is that, as you may know, remember the video and all that good stuff, this here single. Well it was featuring a chap who I think we would all agree was one of the great comedians and one of the major contributors to the Monty Python mob and gang cohooting geezers out there doing all that mumbo jumbling stuff... with the big boot and stuff, squashing everybody... yes! Was Mr. Graham Chapman. Well, here's a little memorandum to him... ah, memorandum... in memory of him... memorandum... crazy, off the wall. No, I think what we gotta say is thanks to Graham for such a great contribution to comedy in general and everything, he's gonna be sadly missed. But this was one of his last film performances before he unfortunately died. So, lets hope he's having a good time up there, and we'll... undoubtedly we'll meet one another time somewhere else in a different place.

Anyway! Moving on to a lighter note, yes! You've got Black Bart Blues on this here single, and as you know after the old Black Bart Blues there's some various mumblings and jumblings from yours truly. And these were not "not alot of people know that" mumblings and jumblings, these were stupid mumbling jumblings that were put together off of all the... at the ends of all the songs that we recorded over that album of Seventh Son Of A Seventh Son such as "hmm... they're gonna put this on a CD!.... And I got a lil' solo! ...I said I seen'em..." and all that stuff right? Well you know what I mean, cause you just f'king listened to it, didnt ya? So there we were, picture this. We were at the playback after we had made the album, recorded it, all that good stuff, mixed it. And we were at the playback for the EMI people. And all the band were there, and all the press... Micky Wall and a few other people.... hello Micky! ...were all there, and they're doing all their old reviews of this album and stuff, so we played ... kinda played... now, you've gotta bear this in mind... none of the chaps, not one of them let me know what was going on, see? So I was clueless! I know, but as I usually... no now look, I was, I didn't have a clue. See? So! There I was standing there... now you picture this... there's the PA system that we were playing this here stuff back through, behind me. And I'm looking down and all the band, and we'd already gone through the album and all this, and we'd got up to singles time, see?

Everybody was out, all the EMI bigwigs are there, you know, "yeah what ho, yes, eh pretty damn good album don't you think?" "Well yes I do, pretty damn good, don't you think, yes." "Eh, shall we pay them money this week?" "Yeah, I could think we can ...pretty good stuff, lets go." So! Anyway, having said that, there I am... this damn thing comes on the bleedin' music box. After it finishes... Black Bart Blues finishes that is, there's "whooo, hello!" You know and there's all this stuff like answer phone stuff, I phone someone I forget where they got that from, oh it was the studio answer machine... "Hi Hi, Nicko here...hi." Anyway, you know, just stupid stuff. Then it starts, don't it. Well, can you imagine my face. There's all the band creased up falling all over the place laughing... they all thought it was the funniest thing since whatever. So there I am looking at this lot, and I'm kind of feeling a bit embarrassed you know, cause I'd not heard this, and I thought "what's all this mumbling jumbling coming out these here big speakers?" Then I looked over at the other side of the room... you know those... you know those faces that you get from the theatre, right, you know you've got the comedy chops and the thriller, you know, and the sad stuff, you know. There's one smiling and there's one looking like, you know, he's just lost a quid and found a tenner, you know. And er... So, picture this... the room's one half crawling all over the floor laughing, and the other lot are like "eh, what's going on? What's this stuff coming in?" Can you imagine this is the world... EMI world people you know from all over the place. And I tell ya, when these people saw everybody going "Hahahahaho!" they're going "ho ha ha HA HA HAAHA! Oh what ho jeez, pretty funny hahhaa." So they also saw the funny side of it after awhile, but it took awhile I'll tell ya. And of course I was really really embarrassed to say the least, cause this was my lunacy stuff, and you you lot f'king got it in your sweaty greasy horrible little palms again, ain't ya!

Anyway! Enough of that, moving on. On the other side you've got The Evil That Men Do, or on the same side, I dunno how the bloody hell they put this record!! (hits microphone)... Take that! The Evil That Men Do.... Written by H. Smith... Adrian Smith, B. Dickinson.... Paul Dickinson, and 'Arry Bomber Harris... Steve Harris. Hmm. Released the 1st of August 1988! And on the other side of that we had Prowler '88 and Charlotte The Harlot written by Mister Murray and Harris! Yes, Dave came out of the closet for that one. Whoah! No, I didn't mean it badly, I mean Dave doesn't... when he writes a song he writes a cracker, don't he? But, he... he sort of... he writes one every couple of years, and he's got a couple in reserve at the moment, and so you lot might hear some of this in the next couple of months because I think he's got a cut for the new album that you ain't gonna believe.

Anyway! Evil That Men Do. Shar... sh... sh... sh... I had one of them this morning... no, a shower. Chart position five, it debuted at number six. Do-de-de-de-do! Now, Prowler and Charlotte The Harlot we recorded... we re-re-re-re-re-recorded these because the band.... ah it's getting silly, I've gotta get out of here and get some fresh air, I mean you ain't gonna believe what it's like in this little room. Anyway, the band never were completely happy with the original versions, you know, from way back. So... And you lot, you greasy despicable mean mangy looking lot out there, you-ou-ou-ou been requesting some of this stuff from the early material to be recorded... re-recorded... with your's truly. Hahahaha! No, no, no, no, I'm joking! No, you know, re-recorded with Bruce and the... how's that, we'll put me in there too, so... Actually, Steve and I were actually discussing a few months back about all these old songs... the old stuff that we've re-recorded, about doing maybe in the future, keeping it the same format so basically the end of the day we might actually have the whole back issue of all the stuff with this sort of Maiden re-recorded, all the old stuff that we weren't on... myself, Bruce, and H. So there you go, you never know.

By the way, here's a joke for ya. I gotta tell you this before I leave, because I got to... I'm running out of time. And... yeah, it's like this, see. Superman and Batman talking to one another one day, so Superman says, "'Ere Bat." "Yeah, what, what's the matter Sup?" He said, "I was out having a little jaunt over at central park the other day", he said, "I had a touch of the hold-on light, and you'll never guess what!" He said, "What't that Sup?" He said, "I f'king looked down... strike me down, there's Wonder Woman wiggling about, legs up in the air, lassoo, all that old stuff... ooh, she must be having a good time... f'king hell, what's she doing!" He says, Batman says, "Well what did you do?" He said, "Well I got f'king serious touch of the hard-on, didn't I? It nearly shot me out to Jupiter!" He said, "Did it?" He said, "No, I got as far as Mars!" He said, "F'king hell, that was a touch, wasn't it?" He said, "More than that! I came back I had such a bone-on, there she was wiggling and wobbling out on the grass, f'king legs up in the air... oh, she was rubbing her dun great tits! Rubbing her thighs... and she was just kinda caressing... oh!" he said "I couldn't resist!" Batman says, "Well what did you do then, Sup?" He said, "Well, I unzipped my boy... you know, my fly, and I got my boy out and I f'king shot down from a thousand feet!" He said, "Did ya?" He said, "Yeah! f'king great!" Batman says, "Well, what happened then?" He said, "Well, it f'king landed... you know, on top of her!" He said, "Did ya!" He said, "F'king right!" He said "I bet Wonder Woman was real surprised, weren't she?" He said, "Yeah, not half as surprised as the bleedin Invisible Man!" Hahahahahahah! Hahahah! (drums something) Oh dear! Nevermind! I'm off! I'm going! Tada!


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LISTEN WITH NICKO!, part X

(McBrain)

Ah Ha! Ha! Ha! Haaaa! Maybe I can get out of here now! Oh, this is Nicko's "not a lot of people know that, number ten". When I finish this I can go home! Ahahaha! Ah oh, why do I want to go home? Oh I don't know, I've been in here so long, oh I'm stuck to the chair and all that kind of good stuff... And I've had so much fun mumbling on to you guys and telling you jokes and all that stuff and this is the last one! Well at least I can go and have a bath. Hmmmmm, it's about that time of the year anyway. Hahahaha!

Well! You despicable heathenistic civilictic God knows what else... mumbling jumbling oooh big single buying public have got in your greasy sweaty horrible... oooh! How is your stereo still spinning around and that little needle bouncing up and down in all that grime? You have got The Clairvoyant, Prisoner, Heaven Can Wait, released the 7th of November 1988 chart position number six! Yes! And on the other side you've got Infinite Dreams, Killers, Still Life - Harris and Murray wrote that song, debuted number twelve, got to number six again! My goodness! And that was released the 6th of November 1989! Oh, here, have you just noticed something... something a bit weird about that? Yeah, I don't know whether that Eddie's got anything to do with that Seventh Son business, but those were both released... those singles, within one year of each other to the day almost. Released 7th of November '88, Infinite Dreams released 6th of November '89. A bit strange and all that...

Well look at that! Let's go on, I don't really... I started getting tingles up the back, I don't like that. Dave? Oh, get out of here. Anyway, no. Hahaha! Gee, four top ten singles in a year to two years actually. By the time you lot are listening to this, which is February, I mean as we know Can I Play With Madness was released the 2nd of March '88 and we're at the sort of end of February. That's close to two years innit? That's bloody good I think, considering we had a year off. I mean, God bless you lot out there, I mean, you know, to not actually have done anything in a year and we pulled out like a single, you know, Infinite Dreams... And by the way that was off the new Maiden England video which we shall talk about in a minute... you know, after a year you pushed it up to number six for us, and God bless you all, because that's nice to know that you ain't forgotten us. You know.

Anyway! The Clairvoyant, Prisoner... all live renditions, my goodness, of the most severe kind! I should know, I was there, wasn't I? Sooty was there too, did you notice? Anyway, enough of him, stupid soddy bear, he doesn't know even how to talk or anything else, stupid git! Anyway! The Clairvoyant, Prisoner, and Heaven Can Wait were recorded in front of you lot as I said I believe earlier on. If I didn't, as I said again on previous "not a lot of people knows that" f'king too f'king bad! A hundred and seven thousand of ya! Wooah! At Donington on August the 20th 1988, you f'king lucky people, you have not only got the live renditions, you were there, probably! And there was Kiss, David Lee Roth, all kinds of people. My goodness, what a great day. Anyway, those as I say were recorded and were a special little single release for you from us lot celebrating the 20th of August for us, because that was... I told you this, we got on stage 20 minutes early for that gig. We got a guy called Dicky Bell, my goodness the... Das Fuhrer Bell we called him because he's like Hitler - right asshole! Anyway hah! He comes in the dressing room and he goes, "right you horrible lot, you musician slime, you scumbags, you sleazeballs, get on that stage now, it's time to do your show, you lazy bastards!" All that sort of stuff, right? "Oh good afternoon Dick, or good evening Dick..." you know, yes you are on the other side of me head... off we go. We were convinced that he'd actually come in the dressing room at Donington that evening and told us to get on stage. But he actually didn't. And we got on stage and he goes, "Oi! What the f'king hell are you lot doing up here? Piss off my stage, get up there when I tell ya!" We said, "Look! Rumour has it we're supposed to be doing a gig. Anyway you stupid prat, you told us to get up here." "No I f'king didn't!" he said. We said, "You f'king did!" He said "I f'king didn't!" Boof! Stuck us in the eyeballs! Take that for openers! "Look here Dick, why the hell we up here for if somebody didn't come around..." He said, "You fucking show him off to me, I'll have a word with him... tell my band to come up here when I ain't ready!" So, we get on stage, as I said. There we are, ten minutes early and we had ten minutes before we had to get, you know, actual showtime. So! Cause we get up there and get warmed up the various bits, twiddly old exercises, Steve checks is bass, all the boys and that out... and Bruce goes round the back and does the various gobbing in the old facial mask thing and all that, and ah ha! Oh we all do the bits, you know.

So we actually had an extra ten minutes on stage looking at you lot standing out there waiting for us lot to come up and do it, and so.... (farting noises).... "You nervous?" "No." "What was that? Loose floorboard?" "Somebody step on a duck?" "I dunno!" Cor! The air turned blue! We had all these film crews around there trying to film us, and they soon left, hahaha! They got out of there quick, they knew how to get out while the going was good, you know what I mean.

So what can I say man, what a fantastic experience! Something that will live with me for the rest of my life, no doubt about that. And, I mean we played like a cat on a tin roof, and we all thought it was a blazing gig. But we later found out and we thought the tape was running slow when we recorded it but nevertheless... enough said about that! Hahaha!

Mooooving on to Infinite Dreams, Killers, and Still Life! Ohh God it's tormenting me! I'm sitting here, I'm strapping myself into this chair with the lead and cable from these headphones trying to restrain myself! My goodness! It was only a year ago that I played these songs for you with the band and all! I miss it so much! Oh gosh, it debuted at twelve and it got to number six, didn't it, not so many weeks ago! Released the 6th of November 1989, my gosh, one year to the day of The Clairvoyant's release. A bit uncanny, as I say.

Nevertheless! These three songs were taken from the band's gig at the NEC in Birmingham, which was recorded around I think November the 28th, 1988... and er... 27th I think it was... and the 28th, we did two gigs! Hah ha ho! So! What can I say? We listened... now actually Steve... let me say this, Steve directed and edited this here Maiden England video, and he set up all the camera angles and told the guys what he wanted, and it took six months to edit this piece of work, 90 minutes worth of music. And I've got to say this, he done the most stunning job I think I've ever seen, and I'm saying that... I'm saying that because... I didn't have to crawl to him because I did that last week, I've got a brown tongue and warm kneepads! Hahahah! No, serious piece of work! No, as you will agree with me, it is, isn't it? I mean, I haven't seen a music video that's so clear, so good, and well put together. It's really... I'm proud to have been on that, because it's f'king great. And we decided actually, when we heard the soundtrack we were really so tempted to release it as a live album again, cause it was really good and Martin recorded the band so well in that room, it was really nice. But we settled for taking a single off of it, because we thought, you know, it wasn't the right time to do another set, you know, a second live album. But you know, it means it's well... I guess for the fans without access to the video will have a souvenir of the '88 tour won't you? Because you can stick this lot on your f'king stereo, as long as it ain't screwed up with all the sticky horrible debauched singles you stuck on prior to this, as long as your stylus still bounces over the grooves and does all that good stuff it'll be alright won't it?

Hey, by the time you've got this lot in your hands, by the way, we shall have been in the studio working on a brand new album! Yes! Oooh, it's gonna be out later this year. And we may, or we may not, you never know, have another four top ten singles, thanks to you lot. And I'm going to work it out and say to them... say to you lot, it's about that time to wind this up. I mean, I've had such a great time speaking to you.... you... you lot! F'king hell! Oh dear, we'll have to do this again sometime, I'd like to. But I've got to say a few farewells to people. That's it! No, and... basically, say... thanking you lot.... you greasy slugs! You.... you grubby lucky little people! No I'm kidding, hahaha! Thanks for ten great fantastic Maidenesque years of boogalooing through the, you know, the lunchaloms of this business... getting up there and giving it all the good old heavy metal welly, which we need more of! Lots of big heavy metal wellies everywhere, squashing all that grief stuff, all that rap shit and all that good crap that's out there that that Bleedin Bojack Company play all the time and that fucking Mighty Tight Veg cause they haven't got a clue anymore have they? Anyway! Toodle-do to you lot! Thanks alot to the gov'nor, 'Arry Harris, and Dave Murray, Adrian Smith and Bruce Dickinson, and the gov'nor Rod Smallwood, Andy Taylor, and all the boys... Tony Wiggins, Dick Bell, and everybody else who's involved, my drum tech especially, Gadsy! And EMI, for whom without them I wouldn't be here talking to you lot, mumbling and jumbling, and you wouldn't have had f'king half a dozen, seven or eight, f'king albums of the band, all that good stuff, to be mumbling jumbling and listening to. So, as I said... oh yeah, is it, no... I was going to tell you a joke, but I've decided I've run out of them, and they ain't very funny anyway, so bollocks! That's all I can say to that! And as I say, and as 'Arry Harris says, as he says it very well, there's only one 'um, and that's fuck'um! So, God bless ya, and I'll see ya... if I don't see you in the spring, as I said on one of the other "not alot of people know that", I'll see you in the mattress!

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